Saturday, January 12, 2019

The "lost" manuscripts.



"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." 

        -Maya Angelou

This morning has been an emotional time for me. Up early to give a venue tour, and then ready a couple of the cabins for weekend guests, I was completely focused on the business, and on finishing up the duties so that I could head back to the house. Our oldest son, Nate, and his wife, Sarah, are visiting this weekend, and we have a full day and evening planned with them. 

But as I said good-bye to the prospective bride and the group of ladies with her, I saw Mike (who was in the barn) waving me over to him. As I drew closer, I glimpsed a large cardboard box sitting on top of his 6-wheeler and my heart sped up a bit.

Could it be...?

"Did you find them?" Even as I asked the question, I saw the happy gleam in his eyes and knew that he had, in fact, found THEM.

My "lost" manuscripts. 

He opened the box and I stared down at binder after binder after binder, filled with my words, stories that I had poured out onto paper so many years ago. Through all of our moves and our transitions (and my transplantations:) I had put my writing in my past, boxed away. 

I remember the day I boxed all of the binders. I truly thought my writing career was behind me, that it had been but a "season," although one of the more impacting ones of my life. For five years, while the boys were in high school and beginning college, I was fortunate enough to work from home and I wrote every. single. day. 

Four of my novels made it to the publishing stage, and still several more lay complete, without a permanent home, inside of binders, where I had carefully printed out each story as I reached the end and...then put it away.

For a number of weeks now, I have been searching for these manuscripts. Mike and I have each spent more than a couple of late, late nights, searching closets, combing through all of our old computer files...looking for any sign that those days spent at the computer still existed somewhere.

In future blog posts, I'll talk more about a couple of them and why it is so important to me RIGHT NOW to find them. But - for today - I will just share that my dear, sweet husband found them. After I sat in the office and opened binder after binder, I became overwhelmed - with gratitude, with love, with hope, and with excitement...

I walked into the kitchen, where he was cooking breakfast for us and the kids and - even though Nate and Sarah sat in the living room just feet away from us, I stood at the stove and wrapped my arms tight around his waist. He held me close as I buried my head in his chest, helpless to stop the flow of tears as they ran hot down my face. 

"Thank you," I was barely able to get the words out in between gulps.

"Mom," Sarah's voice held concern. "Are you okay?"

I am way, way more than just okay. I feel like a piece of my heart - no, my soul, has been returned to me. I am looking forward to the days ahead, and what they hold. For me, for my characters, for our family...

...for this new season that I feel blowing in my direction, ever so gently...


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