Navigating social media.

A couple of years ago Mike and I jokingly (but also seriously; does that make sense?) said that our brains simply could not handle any more new technology when it comes to social media. I flourished in all that was Facebook, while he held out many years before finally throwing in the towel and creating an account. But the others...Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Snap Chat, and - now - even Marco Polo, were just too much to keep up with. Never mind the fact that I truly do not think I have the right brain cells to navigate Snap Chat.

It's hysterical watching my students snap all day and work those phones like a boss with one hand, while I deliberate over each and every FB post and carefully and thoughtfully choose each photo for Instagram. I joined Twitter a number of years ago, broke up with it, got back together with it...a few times, but then ended that relationship for good. To quote Taylor Swift, "We are never, ever getting back together!"

A while back when we decided that I would most likely be running the business full time after this school year, and that - if that was going to be the case - then I needed to try to grow it even further, I knew I needed to really throw myself into Instagram and Pinterest. I researched like a doctoral candidate, learning why the heck a hashtag was so almighty important, and how to attract the "right" people to my pins. I have to say, I thought I had come. So. Far.

Until I took an online social media workshop for businesses and realized that I. KNOW. NOTHING.

I learned about Tailwind, which helps you coordinate, schedule and then pin to your boards, and Insta pre-sets so that you're Insta feed looks "uniform and inviting." Now, I realize that some of you probably are laughing at this point and saying, "Oh, she's so funny; she didn't know about TAILWIND?"

Um, no.

In addition to not knowing about it, I quickly realized that learning about all of the available technology that is so handily at your fingertips to help you gel your blog and your business website with your Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest, is like going down a rabbit hole. A very deep rabbit hole! The last week or so I've found that I'm alternately fascinated and elated with the possibilities, but also bewildered and frustrated. LOL!

However...I feel like I've been "hooked." Now it's not only a challenge to figure it all out, but I'm looking forward to seeing if this can really help a business...and a blog...and a website... 

                                                            G R O W.

Please! All of you that have any tips for me at all, feel free to drop a comment!! 

REVIEW: Whiskey in a Teacup :)

"Dorothea always said that it was a combination of beauty and strength that made Southern women "whiskey in a teacup." We may be delicate and ornamental on the outside, she said, but inside we're strong and fiery." 

- Reese Witherspoon

To borrow a line from Jerry McGuire,  Reese had me at HELLO, or - as is the case here - at the front cover! From that point until I slowly turned the last, beautiful page late last night, I was held willing captive, charmed by the casual elegance that embodies each and every carefully selected photo, gorgeous layout, and the "voice" of Reese herself. Almost as though she sat right next to me, having a conversation, one where you meet a soul sister face-to-face for the first time and you know - instantly - that you would be "sisters" for life. 

Whiskey in a Teacup is a book that you want to make your way through slowly because it is just. that. beautiful. And just that well-written. And the attention to detail, y'all...if ever there was a perfect "lifestyle" book for a Southern woman (or a Southern wannabe), this is it. It draws you in and, most nights, my 30 minute reading time would turn into an hour or more because - as much as I wanted to go slowly to savor it - I was equally as excited to get to the next chapter, the next story, the next recipe.

With chapter titles like Hot Rollers, Red Lipstick, and Steel Magnolias, If It's Not Moving, Monogram It, and My Did-Do Language & Notes on Southern Conversation, this gem of a book is all things girly and heart-warming, but also thought-provoking and inspiring. Sandwiched in between these delightful chapters, are also titles like The Family Table, The Beauty of Female Friendships, and Do Gooding - all things I believe in, strive for, root for. 

And bless the person (in this case a girl, but bless anyone) that credits their high school English teacher for her love of books and storytelling enough to give said teacher their VERY OWN SIDEBAR as a tribute! "Her name was Margaret Renkl, and in my junior year of high school she made me love literature." Reese goes on to say how reading Shakespeare and To Kill a Mockingbird, taught her about character analysis, conflicts between characters, narrative structure and "how to compare characters to real people in history." (For you non-teachers who may be reading this, THAT, folks, pretty much sums up the TEKS for a high school English teacher. Kudos to Ms. Renkl!) 

As you can see below, I went through quite a little stack of dainty little tabs, some inserted to remind me of a thought, others to mark a recipe I can't wait to try out. From her heartwarming stories of summers with her grandparents and traditional Christmas photos with her husband and children all the way to her words on manners and common courtesy and giving back when you've been blessed...I loved every single word of every single chapter. 

This is one book that won't be put on a shelf and forgotten. I know I'll return again and again. 

Now for a giveaway!! In honor of all things ladylike and Southern, as well as strong and "fiery," I have this beautiful teacup and saucer, very similar to the one on the book cover, that I want to send out to one of YOU! Every time you take a sip from it, or maybe just glance at it on a shelf somewhere in your home, I hope you'll remember that you, too are whiskey in a teacup - beautiful yet strong, delicate yet fiery.

***Click on the Amazon link in the sidebar to order your own copy!!!***

The first lady to comment on this post, this teacup is headed in your direction! 

 

WE are enough.

We take care of the things we love, not the things we hate.

I read this statement today and it really hit home with me. It doesn't really matter what subject we may be discussing: relationships, our home, personal possessions, or...our bodies. When we care about things, about people, and about <gulp> our own self...we take care them.

Often when people talk about body image and acceptance, they misunderstand; they think accepting your body means resigning and giving up. They think if they accept their body, they won’t have any motivation to exercise or eat well. 

Acceptance does not have to also mean resignation. Loving your body does not mean resigning and giving up or treating it like garbage (both physically and emotionally). Loving your body means that you will honor it, listen to it, take care of it.

It means that there will be days when you just aren't feeling it and you eat like crap. Then you will feel like crap and the next day you'll wake up and resolve to learn from the day before, not mourn over it. We are clothed in skin and therefore we are human; we will screw up, we will make mistakes, there will be days (and sometimes a series of them) when we ignore all we innately know and treat our bodies poorly. It's not those days that are so dangerous for us; it's how our mind handles those days that sets the tone for the outcome.

I used to think (back when eating and exercising were tied to my self image instead of my well-being) that if I dove face first into a mega bag of M&Ms that my healthy day was blown to smithereens and therefore I should just feel free to eat everything in sight and begin again with a new day. Now I now that simply isn't true. All I need to do is accept the fact that I ate too many M&Ms and then move on, making a better decision about what I have to eat for dinner. 

Our bodies are gifts from God. They house vital organs, grow beautiful babies, and furnish us with energy and vitality to live the best life possible. When I finally began to see my flawed body as my one and only vehicle through this life, I began to love it a little more. And the next day a little more than the day before. It became less and less about being "ideal" and "pretty" and more and more about being strong and capable. 

We are enough.

And we're worthy to receive our own care and - more importantly - acceptance.

My Journey

We all have our own journey, and each one is unique and equally compelling and relevant. Some share their stories - their journey - easily and freely. Others of us are a little hesitant, maybe too concerned with what others may or may not think after they know a little more about our inner struggles and victories.

Our journeys encompass so much: our relationships and our ability to nurture healthy ones, our jobs and careers and how to balance those with the relationships, our hopes, our dreams, and...our health.

This post is about the leg of the journey that is health.

Let's start off by saying that I was never an athlete. I never played a sport in school, I very seldom participated in sports-like activities outside of school. I did take up running several years ago and did that for a while. And I did do a summer boot camp a couple of years ago. But - by and large - I have never been what you could consider an athlete.

As a kid, though, I was active in playing outside and I maintained a healthy weight all through childhood and my teen years. I never remember really thinking twice about what I ate and I had a fairly good sense of who I was and was comfortable with that.

All that changed when I was a young mom. Those years were filled with days that were tough, that were hard, and that - in the end - were heartbreaking. In spite of all the hardships and the other things going on in my life at the time, I loved being a mother to my two boys. It was - and still is - the single most rewarding thing in life. I would have been a bigger mess had it not been for those two little souls who depended on me and needed me.

Somewhere in the big middle of trying to balance all that life was throwing my way, I forgot how to take care of me. I gained weight - lots of it - but even more destructive were the changes going on inside of me. 

Even though I wouldn't realize it or learn from it for many, many years, I became an emotional eater. That in itself is a post for another time, another day, but you can read between the lines. I didn't take care of my body and as a result began to suffer health issues, some of which still haunt me today.

One of my dearest and most well-loved friends would tell me, "Feed your body well and then just let your weight fall where it will." I would listen and think how in the world do you even begin to do that? Something that should be so easy and so natural - putting good things in your body and trusting it to do good work for you was just so far beyond my ability to comprehend in those dark days.

Fortunately, I was one of the lucky ones. Through the love and grace of a great God, the love of a good and caring man, and a slow, reluctant love for myself, I became healthy. Instead of turning to donut therapy, I learned to reach for things that would feed my soul and not things that would harm my body. I learned the difference between eating and feeding. 

I wish I could say that once the light bulb came on, the changes began immediately. The truth in my journey is that it took me years to heal my body from the inside out and just as long to heal my mind of destructive behaviors that served to only stunt my growth in all other areas of my life. 

My story is not unlike the stories of many of you. There is a silent community of us - in all stages of the healing process - that need the confirmation that not only can we live a life that is healthy and full, but we can do so without guilt, without self-doubt, and without worry about what others may or may not think.

I'm thankful for a whole host of things these days. For family. For friends. For health. For a support group of women who are working to make their lives and the ones of those they love full and happy. 

And I'm so proud to be a part of this. 

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Confidence: the good kind.

I’ve been thinking some lately about self confidence. Where does mine come from? What about everyone else’s? How can I better teach and foster it in my students? How can I encourage it in my friends, or my coworkers? Is it a skill that can be taught and practiced, or is it some inherent gift?

I believe confidence, forged from self-love, is a skill. I think self-compassion and self-kindness are skills that can be honed. Since there is an insane epidemic in our society of body-hating, I think loving yourself (the way you are right now, not 15 pounds from now or a college degree from now, or a healthy relationship from now) is one of the first steps on the journey to a successful (and fulfilling) life.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. 31 The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.”

It's not just happenstance that the Bible admonishes, in more than one place, that our first commandment in living for God is to love Him; following on the heels of that verse is the second, the one that many times is misinterpreted. "Love your neighbor as yourself." 

We intrinsically know we are to treat others kindly and with compassion for their circumstances, understanding for their shortcomings, and forgiveness for their mistakes. Yet most of us fail to grant these same concessions to ourselves. Instead, we are our own worst critic, constantly second-guessing, seeing the glass as half-empty, and finding it difficult to embrace our flaws as willingly as we embrace our strengths.

It’s hard to love all of myself, all of the time. But when I’m spending time alone with my reflection, I’m consciously seeing myself through the eyes of someone who loves and accepts me fully and completely… my imaginary “biggest fan,” if you will. But it’s not just physical. To me, external beauty is such a reflection of internal beauty. So while I’m loving my body and my face, I’m also loving my heart and my spirit and my whole history as a person.

I don’t compare myself to anyone. That would rob the experience of joy. I even try not to compare myself to myself, although there are certainly some thoughts, some memories. I remember how my body looked and felt in high school, how it felt after losing 50 pounds all those years ago... But it’s always done through this filter, this point of view of an imaginary fan who loves me the most right now, as I am in this moment. I don’t say mean things or think about stuff I want to change. I just admire. I just love. And for that time, through the imaginary eyes of my biggest fan, I am my biggest fan. I am the one who loves me the most. And you guys… I think people need this.

Because the thing is, you walk around making up what people think of you anyway. You can never really know. I mean, you hope your parents are proud of you, and you suspect that mean girl might just be jealous of you. But you can never KNOW. Your interpretation of what people think of you is essentially made up. And for some reason most people, most of the time, make up mean and negative things. They see themselves from the POV of an imaginary enemy. They imagine how they must come across to someone who doesn’t like them, who doubts them, who think they’re ugly, fat, dumb, or just not good enough. They spend their entire day hanging out with this judgey imaginary person who makes them feel insecure, and their entire life suffers for it. When you constantly see yourself from the POV of someone who judges you unkindly, the world feels like a harsh and dangerous place, so you shut down, take less risks, and find ways to live smaller.

The complete opposite, in fact, is true. We all deserve to be seen, loved, and admired for exactly who we are.