To the Class of 2019

There are always students who make a year in the classroom memorable. But every once in a while you are privileged enough to have an entire class (okay, maybe minus a few:) that is truly remarkable. Those years are your golden ones, and make up for the long and endless ones! This class - the graduating Pewitt 2019 seniors are THAT class for me.

When you work for a small district, very often you have the opportunity to teach all kiddos in a grade level. I first taught these seniors when they were sophomores in my English classes. I taught every single sophomore, and what an amazing year it was! This post is dedicated to them. Never in my teaching career have I laughed more, cried more (for happy:) or grew more as an educator. The teacher got taught - in all the best possible ways.

I quickly realized this class was unique. They didn't really feel the normal pressure to "fit in" or to be just like their friends. Instead, they were (and still are) a group of individuals that support one another but set their own sail, confident in charting their own path. If you teach, you know this is rare, particularly in 10th graders.

This is the class that stretched me, challenged me, and inspired me. It was the year all of the hashtags began to impact us. (More on #hashtags in future post.) It was the year I put away my own agenda and began to teach in a brand new way. The outward manifestation of this was flexible seating, Socratic Circles, and student-led lessons. The inward though is where the real manifested change occurred. It was the year I discovered that some of these 15 and 16 year olds possessed more self-confidence than I did as an adult. Whereas I held very definite opinions, I was much more likely to keep them close to my chest rather than be judged or critiqued. These kids were fearless, but in a completely respectful, mannerly - humorous -  way.

My 2nd period Honors English class is where the bulk of my metamorphosis as a teacher began. I vividly remember the day I sat on my stool behind my podium, totally ready to lead a discussion over a section of Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children that they had been reading independently. I threw out the first couple of questions and when the answers began to flow, I realized this was a group of free-thinkers. I decided to press to see how far they were willing to go. #thinkoutsidethebox was born, and from that day on, this class made themselves vulnerable, sharing even when the topics became personal, not ashamed or embarrassed of the tears that sometimes were shed. I had always loved sharing novels with students, peeling back the many layers of symbolism like an onion, but this particular group of students carried us to another level, and found ways to connect the text to the real world in ways I had not even thought of.

It was the "Year of the Projects," where Bailey made a doll (Pretty Portman) who became our class mascot early on. Armed with her own Instagram page, Pretty took turns traveling with the students, even making an appearance at an UIL competition. Another time, Hannah created a beautiful bouquet of silk flowers, with a single black rose included to tie into the symbolism of the story. I've had that bouquet on each of my desks since then, and will take it home where it will continue to sit on my home office desk. I look at it often and am reminded of that special year.

It was also a year of mischievousness and procrastination gone good:) By that I mean David and Madison. David was (and continues to be) the consummate class clown. More than once, he had me convinced that he'd not done his assigned project, going so far one time to create a title page and one slide in a PowerPoint presentation, only to have the 3rd slide say, "THE END." I remember glancing up from the rubric, chewing on the end of my pen, studying him, trying like mad to determine if this was yet another practical joke. It always was. And EVERY presentation was first-rate, top-notch, off the chart, presentation!

Madison was my procrastinator - especially when it came to essays. A self-proclaimed struggling writer, Madison was (and is) actually an amazing writer. She has a unique way of stringing words, combining thoughts, facts, and analogies in a way that make her papers a fascinating read from the first word all the way to the last one. That is, once they WERE. TURNED. IN! :) Often frustrated by the tardiness of her essays, I would TRY MY HARDEST to find something - anything - wrong with it. I never could. Madison is just one of those who gets work done. Even if it's at the very last possible second. What can you say to a system that works for her?!?

This was the year that I really got to know Chelsy, Shelby, Bradley, Ethan, Leslie, Sydney, and Presley. I learned about Chelsy's obsession with all things Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, and Leslie's with Canelo Alvarez:) I learned that Ethan had THE BEST sopapilla cheesecake recipe, that Syd was creative and artistic, and that Presley was quiet but hysterically funny.

It was the year of the "Cultural Quilt" and the cultural presentations, where we explored our backgrounds, upbringings, the case of nature vs nurture. Once each student completed their square, complete with things that were unique to them as well as things they knew to be true, we put them all together to form our class quilt. We proudly hung it on the wall of our classroom and there it stayed until I - very reluctantly - took it down the very last day of that school year. We wrote the very revealing essay: "This I Believe," and then began our presentations. It was during these presentations that CeCe blew me away with a whole demonstration of cultural hair by bringing in a doll shoulder/head with an elaborate 'do to represent her combined heritage, and that David demonstrated his by sharing a heavy, iron tortilla maker that had been passed down through several generations in his family.

We "circled up" often, and eagerly, because we had learned that 2nd period was a time of excitement, sharing, and learning to feel safe within our circle. We read so much, discussed even more, and wrote more than any of them probably wanted to. Yet they were always seeking to up the bar on their written word, and the results were awe-inspiring and life-changing.

At least they were for me.

Here it is, two years later, and - as they prepare to graduate in a few days and take a last walk across the auditorium stage - this teacher is all caught up in the memories of that year they were sophomores.

So...

To you - I say "thank you." Thank you for allowing me to share that time with you. Thank you for trusting me with your thoughts, your ideas, and your hopes and dreams for the future. Now, that future is right here, and I have so, so, SO much confidence in the paths each of you will choose. No pathway is easy or free of thorns or roadblocks or bumps in the road, but always remember that there is joy in the journey, and beauty all along the road to where you want to be.

Smile often. Dream big. Love hard. Be kind always.

Class of 2019 - I love you, and I will always be here, quietly cheering you on!

Savor: My Next 90 Days

Anyone who knows me well at all, knows I love a good planner/calendar! So much so that I may go a tad bit overboard. I currently carry THREE around with me on the daily!

There is a method to my madness though, I promise! The first is our business planner, which I use solely for just that...business. It contains all the reservations for each of the cabins, as well as the venue, plus it holds contact info for all of our brides and their important people. Updated financials are catalogued there on a monthly basis just so I can quickly flip to it at a moment's notice. Yes, this is all on our computer and much of it in our phones, but - call me stuck in yesteryear - I can't help the love I have for hard copy! I've used the same design for the past three years, and have purchased them all from an online boutique through Jane, called So Kali. I'm not posting a picture of it here right now because I'm being just too lazy to snap the pic and upload, but if you're like me and love a great planner plus a little personalization on the front cover, this one's for you! The planners aren't generally listed for sale until around Fall, but she has bill trackers, prayer journals, and much more! Definitely worth a look around! Then bookmark her for your next year's planner!

The planner that stays in my purse full-time is my personal one, and also one that contains all of my classroom and lesson plans. I used to do a full-on teacher planner, but finally gave that one up this year and - instead - consolidated it with my smaller, personal one. It's a good one, though, by Agenda 52! I'm pretty sure I picked this one up at Hobby Lobby, and it was either insanely on sale or I used my 40% off coupon! I'm obsessed with this one because you can customize the inserts; that's really the only reason it works so well for my lesson plans, and also for meal planning and shopping lists, too! LOVE it.

 
I so did NOT intend for this to be a full post dedicated to my planner/calendar addiction; I meant to gush on and on about my newest one only - the My Next 90 Days by Savor Life. It helps to organize your life 90 days at a time, and truly, TRULY promotes a more intentional way of approaching your busy days. Of course, it helps tons that it's full of inspirational quotes and has very deliberate 4-pillar  method: your 'savor life' list which helps keep you focused on what's most important, a 90 day vision, a weekly and daily ritual list, and - finally - a place to organize what they call your "gorgeous chaos." It takes the "nourish to flourish" approach and has room for literally everything you need to remind you to stop, think, rest, drink your water, plan your day intentionally, get in your prayer time, and you simply do it 90 days at a time!

Everytime I glimpse it on my desk, or laying open on the coffee table, or on a stack of books where I'm working in my home office, I smile. Every. Single. Time.

The reason?

At the end of THIS 90 days, I will be walking out of my role as a classroom teacher and into my new one as FULL-TIME B&B owner/operator!!! My heart, of course, is alllll over the place. I'm going to miss SO much about the teaching life, primarily my students, awesome coworkers, and - yes - a dependable monthly income! But if I've ever in my life known something for certain, it's that this is the right time, the right decision. I am ready.

What I don't want the next few months to be is a race to the finish. I want so badly to finish the school year out at the top of my game, which isn't always an easy task when my time, energy, and attention is pulled in such opposite directions. I want to live each day intentionally, knowing that there is purpose and pleasure in each and every one of them. And hard work. Always more hard work, right? Every morning, I glance at the list for the day, where I begin with what is Number One for every day: prayer first. This is the time of day that settles me, and helps me prepare in a calm and logical manner whatever the next 15 hours might hold.

So...this super long post in essence is really all about the last two paragraphs only.

In 90 days my life will once again change. I'll go through yet another "transplantation." My daily prayer is that each and every day lived between this one and that last one will be chock full of only the important, the essentials that fuel my spirit, nourish my body, and keep me in a place where I can be my best for my husband, our family, my role as a teacher and tender of young hearts, and my responsibilities in our business.

Navigating social media.

A couple of years ago Mike and I jokingly (but also seriously; does that make sense?) said that our brains simply could not handle any more new technology when it comes to social media. I flourished in all that was Facebook, while he held out many years before finally throwing in the towel and creating an account. But the others...Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Snap Chat, and - now - even Marco Polo, were just too much to keep up with. Never mind the fact that I truly do not think I have the right brain cells to navigate Snap Chat.

It's hysterical watching my students snap all day and work those phones like a boss with one hand, while I deliberate over each and every FB post and carefully and thoughtfully choose each photo for Instagram. I joined Twitter a number of years ago, broke up with it, got back together with it...a few times, but then ended that relationship for good. To quote Taylor Swift, "We are never, ever getting back together!"

A while back when we decided that I would most likely be running the business full time after this school year, and that - if that was going to be the case - then I needed to try to grow it even further, I knew I needed to really throw myself into Instagram and Pinterest. I researched like a doctoral candidate, learning why the heck a hashtag was so almighty important, and how to attract the "right" people to my pins. I have to say, I thought I had come. So. Far.

Until I took an online social media workshop for businesses and realized that I. KNOW. NOTHING.

I learned about Tailwind, which helps you coordinate, schedule and then pin to your boards, and Insta pre-sets so that you're Insta feed looks "uniform and inviting." Now, I realize that some of you probably are laughing at this point and saying, "Oh, she's so funny; she didn't know about TAILWIND?"

Um, no.

In addition to not knowing about it, I quickly realized that learning about all of the available technology that is so handily at your fingertips to help you gel your blog and your business website with your Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest, is like going down a rabbit hole. A very deep rabbit hole! The last week or so I've found that I'm alternately fascinated and elated with the possibilities, but also bewildered and frustrated. LOL!

However...I feel like I've been "hooked." Now it's not only a challenge to figure it all out, but I'm looking forward to seeing if this can really help a business...and a blog...and a website... 

                                                            G R O W.

Please! All of you that have any tips for me at all, feel free to drop a comment!! 

REVIEW: Girl, Wash Your Face

"Stop believing the lies about who you are so you can become who you were meant to be." - Rachel Hollis

I didn't purchase this book for me; it was never intended to be one of my reads for 52 Books in 52 Weeks.

I bought it to send to someone else. But - before I could put it in the mail - this same girl commented on a FB post how - on page 39 of the book she was currently reading - the words seemed to leap from the page and let her know it was time to take a leap of faith and go for what she wanted instead of trying to spend more valuable time trying to live up to what she felt others "expected" of her.

I immediately recognized the quote and realized she was already reading what had been laid on my heart for her. Confirmation.

So I added it to my bedside table stack, not really sure if I would ever pick it up. I think in my mind I pictured it to be more for the younger set. For whatever reason, I picked it up at one point and began to skim through.

Y'all.

It was SO good that I had to go back and start from Page 1. I have followed the author, Rachel Hollis, on Insta for a while, so I already knew her "voice" and was well aware of the wisdom of many of her tenants. This book, however, breaks it down into bite-size chunks that are truly life changing - if you are ready to change.

On the very first page of the Introduction, she pretty much sums up the book in one sentence. I could have stopped here and walked away with enough inspiration and excitement to go after the big dreams.

"You, and only you, are ultimately responsible for who you become and how happy you are."

With chapter titles such as: The Lie: Something Else Will Make Me Happy, The Lie: I Need to Make Myself Smaller, and The Lie: I'm a Terrible Writer - this book has challenged me in so many levels. In this year, where my "word" is PRESENT, and my decision to take a few new leaps of faith - stepping out and trusting that I will either fly or He will catch me, I am now convinced it was me - and not just my friend - that needed many of the words in this gem of a book. 

As women, life these days feels a whole lot like a marathon - and it feels a lot like we are out of shape and not at all prepared for the race. Whether time has truly sped up or not is debatable, but it definitely feels like we run faster and faster and accomplish less and less. Time is flying by.

I think about this all the time. Why didn't I take better care of my skin 20 or 30 years ago? Why didn't I lose all that baby weight 30 years ago when I was through having babies? Why didn't I begin my career - my passion career - much sooner, instead of in mid-life? Why couldn't I have had more wisdom, more confidence, more determination as a younger woman? 

Truth: All the steps, decisions, mistakes, victories throughout all of my years on this Earth have led me HERE. And I am really liking HERE. Not only does it not do any good to ask all of the what ifs, but it is directly counter-productive of what I am meant to do right now - in the NOW. Right HERE. Each of my scars, each of my heartbreaks, each of my losses have grown me as a woman. Each love I have had, each success - whether big or small - and each of my baby steps have led me to this season of life.

A season that I am very excited about. I am blessed, for sure.

So I'm going to wash my face, put all self-doubt behind me, and wrap my arms around my dreams, and my heart around my faith.

It's time to be what He intends for me to be in Him. His plans are so much larger and greater than my own. He believes in me; no, He KNOWS what I am about to tackle and accomplish. All I have to do is step out and trust, knowing that He has ordered my every step and already gone before me.

Hot Springs Getaway

Whispering Pines Tree House

Last year, in January, we had THE sweetest young couple choose Wildernest B&B for their "beginning of the year" getaway. They explained to us that they do this each year, a time to financial plan, have some of the hard conversations, and set both personal and couple goals for the upcoming year.

They very deliberately decided on a place away from home because - we all know - these types of conversations at home often become interrupted, or - dare I say truthfully - even heated? 

My sweet husband and I have taken a cue from them and are taking our "yearly planning" on the road this year. It didn't happen in January, but we are taking this Thursday and Friday off of work and traveling to Hot Springs, Arkansas - just a short hop down the road from us. After taking care of some necessary appointments/duties on Thursday, we'll hit the road and enjoy a couple of nights away to rest, plan, prepare, and set our financial goals for 2019.

This is a first for us, and we will definitely document this time and blog about it in the next few weeks. It doesn't matter if you're newlyweds, married with small children, empty nesters, or enjoying your "Pipe Dreams" like we are - having a PLAN and CONSISTENTLY working it together is just so important.

So...Whispering Pines, we will be tucked away in your part of YOUR piney woods in just a few short days, ready to rest, recharge, and plan. Our mutual couple goal for this year is to live intentionally, move forward with purpose, and take better care of our families, our children, and our grands!

Does anyone relate to this subject? Drop a comment if you want to share! If you'll leave a comment, we'll send you a little takeaway from Hot Springs upon our return!

Many blessings on this Sunday!

MANUSCRIPTS: Melrose Miracle

Remember last Saturday when I was soooo emotional about The Finding of the Manscripts?

LOL.

I'll attempt to explain why.

A number of years ago, I was a full-time writer. Just saying that makes me still cringe a bit. But not nearly as much as I used to cringe when someone would refer to me as a "writer" or "author," although both were true.

For close to 8 years I devoted the majority of my days to my craft, my passion, my calling. I wrote. Four of my completed manuscripts made it to publication. The first two will forever be special just simply because a small secular publishing house took a chance on a newbie.


If I had the opportunity to revise these two titles today, I would know so much more about character development, plot twists, about being one with your characters.

Still, by God's grace and mercy, These Things We Hold and For Such a Time as This found their publishing home. A few years later, Waking Emma and Saving Grace also found a publishing home. Mind you, this all took place years ago; before I went back to college for my teaching certification, before we moved to rural Northeast Texas, before my teaching career, and definitely before we opened the B&B!

Over the years since, I've often all but forgotten about those days. Days when I would plop in front of my computer after the boys left for their day at school. Days when I would become so involved in my characters' lives that I would have a difficult time transitioning back to my "real world" at the end of the day in order to make dinner, keep house, be a "present" wife and mom, and raise a family.

Once I began school, and then teaching, I all but gave up writing. The occasional blog post was about as far as I ventured into the writing arena in those days. By this time, I had grown somewhat frustrated with the industry and the difficult journey it is to "break into" mainstream publishing. I - by then - had several more manuscripts completed, as well as book proposals that I was insanely excited about - but I was no longer confident that writing was a calling; maybe it was just my hobby.

It seemed that writing had become WORK and much of my previous joy was robbed by the rejection letters, the return of my beloved Melrose Miracle by my equally beloved AGENT (yessss, I actually was under contract with an agent!:), and by the rigorous guidelines and stipulations required to succeed in a very up and coming and competitive industry - that of Christian fiction.

I remember the day I packed up the binders, saved all the manuscripts and proposals to a flash drive, and then stored them all. I truly felt that this "season" of my life was behind me. I knew I wanted to hang onto all of the things from this time period, but I was not a good steward of keeping up with where they were. This was particularly true after several moves, until we settled on the 50 acres of land that we now call the B&B.

Then, a number of months ago, that sleeping giant awoke inside of me and - y'all - I. CAN'T. STOP. WRITING. It's joyful again, healing, even, and I write with abandon, not giving one single thought to trying to become published again. I'm writing for me, to deliver myself of the many stories bottled up inside of me, begging to find their home in word form.

When I switched from teaching English to Culinary this school year, and realized that my Advanced Culinary was made up of all females, Melrose Miracle came to mind. The story of Ella and Luke, a nation-wide Cooking Channel contest - "Restaurant 101" - and a 2nd chance at love and laughter, the perfect combination to share with my culinary ladies.

Except I could not find the binder holding the hard copy. I could not find the flash drive. I couldn't find it online anywhere - even though I had posted it one chapter at a time on an old blog back some years ago. The thought of it BEING GONE was devastating to me.

Days became weeks and weeks became months and still no manuscript.

When I had all but given up, my precious, sweet, unbelievably supportive husband (no matter what kind of shenanigans I find myself in, he never fails to have my back:) spent time searching the very, very back of a very, very packed storage room in the barn...and he found Ella and Luke!!!  (All the praise hands here!)

This binder with this old manuscript of mine now resides in my classroom. I'm not sure when I'll share it with the girls - maybe as a part of their graduation gift...

In the meantime, I'm having the best time reading the novel (my novel!) and even though it never found its home, I can't help but believe that this was all a part of a bigger plan. A plan much bigger, and most likely better, than I could have created or dreamed on my own.

I'm so thankful - so grateful - for so very much these days.

I'm excited for what is happening in my heart as I spend my evenings tucked into my chair in front of my laptop. Just because it feels like home again. 

Much like Ella experienced:

She'd entered this contest on a dare, never in a million years thinking she'd be chosen as a finalist. Then she'd traveled to LA in pursuit of a distant dream, an opportunity to carve out a delicious future for her and Chloe.

But she'd discovered so much more.

Luke Abney had claimed her heart with a gentleness that left Ella breathless. His warmth and tenderness reached inside her to a place Ella thought had withered away when Stephen died. In a short span of time, Luke had taught her two valuable things.

 How to trust her heart again.

And how to trust God again. (Wilder, Melrose Miracle)

Trusting Him with all of my heart, for all of my tomorrows...

When NO is what gets you there.

Whether it has something to do with the "first child" syndrome, or whether I am just a pleaser by nature, saying NO does not come easy for me. In fact, up until recently, I would find 100 other ways to attempt to say no (to a project, to an obligation, to an event, to a person) but I quickly discovered that some people don't "hear" those other ways.

They have to hear, "No," to know it means NO.

Saying that one simple little word shouldn't be so difficult. But for many people - including me - it brings on such a sense of guilt; as though I am letting someone or something down.

I wish I would have realized a long time ago that I don't have that kind of power. :) People's happiness and satisfaction in this life isn't directly proportional to me being at their beck and call, no matter how it appears in the moment.

"You can't have a yes without a no." (Niequist) We all have limitations on our time, our energy, and our resources. Saying "yes" too often to things that don't inspire us, motivate us, or bring about any kind of self-respect or self-gratitude only means that we are simultaneously saying "no" to some things that do inspire us, do motivate us, and do provide us with a sense of self-respect.

I've come to realize over the latter portion of 2018 that I've said "no" too many times, but to the wrong people, the wrong things. I've passed on weekends with family to work an event or fulfill a sponsorship. I've lost sleep and just plain 'ol rest to show up when I'd rather stay home, to make someone's job easier while making mine more difficult.

As I went from a young mom, to a working mom, then to a single mom, then to a blended family mom, then a "going back to college mom," and finally - a full-time career mom, I gradually became accustomed to saying yes to all the things.

I imagine, at first, this was because I felt that I somehow lacked something, something that I needed to compensate for. Maybe I felt "less than" because of the struggle to provide for two little boys in an average paying job. Maybe I felt that since I could no longer be THE room mother, that I should instead make all of the things. The cupcakes. The schedules. The goody bags.

I remember coming home from one work trip a day early. I didn't tell anyone about the change of schedule except for Mike. I came straight home from the airport, changed into sweats and a tshirt, climbed into bed, and simply requested that I be excused from the phone, from interaction with people, from even the things that should have brought me the most fulfillment.

I just wanted to lay in bed.

It wasn't depression, or even despondency. It wasn't just a matter of being physically, mentally, or even emotionally tired. I was just tapped out. Out of reserves. Out of anything to give for the moment.

In hindsight, that should have been my turning point, but - of course - it wasn't. I was still young - in my early 30s - and felt that things might literally crumble if I wasn't hands on 24/7 in everything I was expected to do. Everything I was asked to do. Everything I thought I should do. 

I was working so hard, moving so fast, taking on so much that I hadn't even realized I was losing out on the things that really mattered. The moments. Those brief pockets of time when memories are made.

I suppose I thought it would all lead me to where I eventually wanted to be - at my destination. Where I was meant to be. Equipped with what I needed to be successful in life. What I didn't realize was that I was robbing not only myself, but those I loved most, of the best of me.

Not everyone will be thrilled about your decision to suddenly be protective of your time, your talent, and your energy. It may "inconvenience" some people who've become reliant on you - quite simply put - just being there for them. 

Hear this: those are NOT YOUR PEOPLE.

The folks who truly love you, treasure you even, want your happiness. They want you to have a peaceful, fulfilling life, and they trust you to make the decisions that ensure that is what happens. These people are not threatened by your absence, their feelings are not hurt by your saying 'no.' They will respect your decisions. They will respect your needs.

They will respect YOU.

If we listen, we all have that inner voice that guides our way. For many of us, this is certainly through prayer, and it is also through using what God gave us: the ability to listen to our bodies, and to respectfully care for this one vessel He's given us to live in. After all, it has to take us to the finish line.

The "lost" manuscripts.

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." 

        -Maya Angelou

This morning has been an emotional time for me. Up early to give a venue tour, and then ready a couple of the cabins for weekend guests, I was completely focused on the business, and on finishing up the duties so that I could head back to the house. Our oldest son, Nate, and his wife, Sarah, are visiting this weekend, and we have a full day and evening planned with them. 

But as I said good-bye to the prospective bride and the group of ladies with her, I saw Mike (who was in the barn) waving me over to him. As I drew closer, I glimpsed a large cardboard box sitting on top of his 6-wheeler and my heart sped up a bit.

Could it be...?

"Did you find them?" Even as I asked the question, I saw the happy gleam in his eyes and knew that he had, in fact, found THEM.

My "lost" manuscripts. 

He opened the box and I stared down at binder after binder after binder, filled with my words, stories that I had poured out onto paper so many years ago. Through all of our moves and our transitions (and my transplantations:) I had put my writing in my past, boxed away. 

I remember the day I boxed all of the binders. I truly thought my writing career was behind me, that it had been but a "season," although one of the more impacting ones of my life. For five years, while the boys were in high school and beginning college, I was fortunate enough to work from home and I wrote every. single. day. 

Four of my novels made it to the publishing stage, and still several more lay complete, without a permanent home, inside of binders, where I had carefully printed out each story as I reached the end and...then put it away.

For a number of weeks now, I have been searching for these manuscripts. Mike and I have each spent more than a couple of late, late nights, searching closets, combing through all of our old computer files...looking for any sign that those days spent at the computer still existed somewhere.

In future blog posts, I'll talk more about a couple of them and why it is so important to me RIGHT NOW to find them. But - for today - I will just share that my dear, sweet husband found them. After I sat in the office and opened binder after binder, I became overwhelmed - with gratitude, with love, with hope, and with excitement...

I walked into the kitchen, where he was cooking breakfast for us and the kids and - even though Nate and Sarah sat in the living room just feet away from us, I stood at the stove and wrapped my arms tight around his waist. He held me close as I buried my head in his chest, helpless to stop the flow of tears as they ran hot down my face. 

"Thank you," I was barely able to get the words out in between gulps.

"Mom," Sarah's voice held concern. "Are you okay?"

I am way, way more than just okay. I feel like a piece of my heart - no, my soul, has been returned to me. I am looking forward to the days ahead, and what they hold. For me, for my characters, for our family...

...for this new season that I feel blowing in my direction, ever so gently...