I am not a personification of my social media feed.

Let's talk social media, specifically Facebook and Instagram because they are the only two I can seem to keep my arms around. I confess, for a very long time I had a love-hate relationship with social media feeds. I was torn between wanting to share and also with feeling that posts had more to do with ego than actual sharing.

I finally realized that my feelings were spawned by others' views of media feeds. There seems to be two MAIN camps: those that poke holes at all positivity posts and those that feel some entire feeds are made up of negativity. There is a small segment of us in the middle - in the gray, if you will - that just enjoy viewing everyone's pictures of their families and pets and vacations, and tend to just overlook the more negative posts or the folks who are forever sick or being hurt or feel ignored by others.

While I hope people are "following" us - meaning the B&B - I can honestly say I have no idea how many followers we have on Insta OR Facebook. On the other hand, I spend several hours of research a week on how to use social media to promote our business. The reality is that social media is THE way to advertise today...and it's FREE!! We'd be nuts to NOT utilize this resource that will only continue to change and deepen and grow as the years go by.

Some days, I feel like the more I learn, the more I don't know. I finally switched my personal Insta to primarily business; meaning, I changed it from MY personal name to Wildernest Bed & Breakfast. Yes, I'll still post pics of the grands, the doggies, the food...but those things are WHO we are, so it makes sense to me that our potential guests would like to see what we view as important.

We spend ENORMOUS amounts of hours on our front porch, so front porch pics are important to me. Pictures of our cabins, the food we serve, and views of the property are paramount to - not only promoting our business - but also giving small glimpses into who we are as business owners. We're family people, first and foremost, so there will always, always, ALWAYS be crazy amounts of pictures and stories of our grands, our kiddos, and our pets.

The one area that I question the most is: am I being real? Authentic?

Because THIS I can promise you. For every delicious food picture I post, there are at least THREE that are HORRIBLE! My sweet husband is very vocal and descriptive during our meals together. When it's good, there is NO doubt. His vocabulary and adjectives (some appropriate and some not so much:) leave no doubt that it's a dish worth repeating. But when he is silent; eating but with no commentary, I know it's bad. Very, very bad, usually! Ha!

For every "positivity" post, I promise I could post three things that AREN'T going well in life. Sometimes I think our family could have their own reality show. We have SO. MUCH. GOING. ON. right now! Most good, but some sad, some scary, some uncertain...So, sure, I make the decision each and every day what I want to share with others. The truth is that I WANT to be a voice of positivity. I WANT to point others to what gets me through: JESUS.

At the same time, even though I don't post about it on a regular basis, we have our own set of difficulties that we deal with on the daily. We've given up a regular, dependable salary to take a chance on "us" and this dream of a B&B. We celebrate with our kids who have kids and who are expecting another! (Hopefully we'll have a gender reveal later this week!!!) We also have kids who are going through infertility treatments, including surgery, medications, injections...We celebrate and we console, and many times both on the same day. We have parents with new medical issues, and our place in the "sandwich" of the family is that of the meat that holds both ends together. That's just where we are.

I could post all this, and I would never, ever discourage others from posting whatever they like. For me, I encourage myself with prayer, positivity quotes, and focusing on the good things in life. This naturally segues into my social media posts. It does as much, if not MORE, good for me than it could ever do for others.

Maybe most importantly of all is the growing of our family business - the B&B. We want that to be "the face" of our social media posts. We share certain pictures of family, pets, the grounds, the cabins, etc. because we want our potential guests to have a sense of who we are and what we value. We are two normal people: a couple who are deeply in forever love, who have grown children who are growing their own families, who have parents who are facing new challenges in life, who have meals that flop, ideas that fail, who laugh, cry, hurt, and rejoice.

We are normal.

We are not the personification of our social media feed.

Truly, Madly, Deeply

I've been thinking about love relationships a lot lately. A lot of the reason why, I'm sure, is because of my own love. My marriage to my guy. I think about what our love looked like back in the beginning, the way it looked in the middle of raising teenagers, how it looked as we embraced an empty nest, and - especially - the way it looks today.

In every stage we've loved. Truly. Madly. Deeply. Around the time we married the band Savage Garden came out with the song by this name. For a long while, it was our song; so reflective of the acknowledgment of both our pasts, and appreciation of having found one another. I looked the original music video up a few days ago and let my mind review the past twenty years.

Truly, Madly, Deeply

As a teacher of high school, sometimes I am so saddened by what this age bracket views as 'love.' I guess when I was their age my friends and I weren't much different. Love is beautiful in all its stages: the wildly exhilarating beginning, the team-building middle years, the ups and downs, highs and lows, the sick times and the healthy ones.

Love, though, isn't always about romance. And it's not confined to intimate relationships.

We all receive and give love in so many different ways to so many different people in our lives. And I think we can all agree we all need love. It's absolutely necessary to having a happy life. We need our significant other, yes, but we also need friends. Family. Our kiddos. Our grands. I certainly would never call myself an expert on love, but being one half of a healthy, flourishing marriage has helped me to realize a few major point over the years. 

First, you have to love yourself.

We all come from different backgrounds. Some of us grew up in a loving and encouraging family, and some of us didn't. We've probably all had some kind of relationship in our lives that has left us feeling hurt. You can't control your outside circumstances. I wish we could. What you can control is your own choices. It can be hard to love when you feel broken. If you don't come to any relationship (romantic, friendship, family) whole, you end up (1) asking others to fill in the broken pieces or (2) shutting them out completely. You first have to love yourself. Someone very wise once pointed out to me that God instructs us to "love others as ourselves." Way too often, if we're honest, we'd love others in a totally lousy way if we truly abided by this scripture. And yet, it's what we should do. Then, and only then, can any of us offer relationships our strengths rather than looking to them to fix our weaknesses. We all have the power to make this decision no matter what hand life has dealt us.

Be someone you would love.

It is always easier to blame others. Always. Always, always, always - no matter your age or your stature in life. What's hard is looking inward to ourselves and realizing that maybe it's us who needs to change. Before you have amazing relationships you have to be someone you would love. Be the mother you would want. Be the friend you want. Be the spouse you want. This is a lifelong process the important people in your life will help you with if you are open to it. Stop focusing on others' shortcomings so much and instead work on yourself.

 Love deeply.

Don't hold back. Don't hold grudges. Go all in. We've probably all been hurt before, and I'm not saying we should ignore those situations. We need to learn from the unhealthy ones and seek to avoid repeat mistakes. But. Don't let past hurts prevent you from making new relationships or falling in love. This almost happened to me. I was hurt and felt justified in my unwillingness to forgive even though my circumstances had changed. And this attitude nearly prevented me from being ready for my future husband...my now husband. My partner, my love, my guy. Don't be afraid to love deeply.  Be open. Be brave.

4. Choose your important relationships.

I truly believe that we should love everyone. An attitude of love to your fellow citizens is a great way to live your life. Can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone did this? However, this does not mean that you should open yourself up to being hurt over and over again. Choose the people who you cultivate important relationships with. If someone has continually been a negative influence in your life, or doesn't treat you the way you deserve, then they should not receive the privilege of being one of your close relationships. Focus on the positive influences in your life. Love them deeply (see point 3).You don't need to be anyone's second choice.

5. Love is work.

Every important relationship in your life requires attention in order for it to grow. I am so guilty of being that friend who doesn't call back. It is SO easy to get busy with your life, with work or school or whatever you are passionate about and not focus on cultivating the love in your life. I should get dinner with my parents more often. I should get coffee with friends more. I should plan more dates away from the B&B with Mike. If you neglect any relationship it will decline over time. I've had many friends over the years that I've sort of drifted apart from simply because I didn't make time for them. Being a giving and loving person takes a lot of intentional effort. And that's something that I'm working on this year.

But good people are worth the time. All the time. Every time. 

Navigating social media.

A couple of years ago Mike and I jokingly (but also seriously; does that make sense?) said that our brains simply could not handle any more new technology when it comes to social media. I flourished in all that was Facebook, while he held out many years before finally throwing in the towel and creating an account. But the others...Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Snap Chat, and - now - even Marco Polo, were just too much to keep up with. Never mind the fact that I truly do not think I have the right brain cells to navigate Snap Chat.

It's hysterical watching my students snap all day and work those phones like a boss with one hand, while I deliberate over each and every FB post and carefully and thoughtfully choose each photo for Instagram. I joined Twitter a number of years ago, broke up with it, got back together with it...a few times, but then ended that relationship for good. To quote Taylor Swift, "We are never, ever getting back together!"

A while back when we decided that I would most likely be running the business full time after this school year, and that - if that was going to be the case - then I needed to try to grow it even further, I knew I needed to really throw myself into Instagram and Pinterest. I researched like a doctoral candidate, learning why the heck a hashtag was so almighty important, and how to attract the "right" people to my pins. I have to say, I thought I had come. So. Far.

Until I took an online social media workshop for businesses and realized that I. KNOW. NOTHING.

I learned about Tailwind, which helps you coordinate, schedule and then pin to your boards, and Insta pre-sets so that you're Insta feed looks "uniform and inviting." Now, I realize that some of you probably are laughing at this point and saying, "Oh, she's so funny; she didn't know about TAILWIND?"

Um, no.

In addition to not knowing about it, I quickly realized that learning about all of the available technology that is so handily at your fingertips to help you gel your blog and your business website with your Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest, is like going down a rabbit hole. A very deep rabbit hole! The last week or so I've found that I'm alternately fascinated and elated with the possibilities, but also bewildered and frustrated. LOL!

However...I feel like I've been "hooked." Now it's not only a challenge to figure it all out, but I'm looking forward to seeing if this can really help a business...and a blog...and a website... 

                                                            G R O W.

Please! All of you that have any tips for me at all, feel free to drop a comment!! 

Winnie the Pooh said it best.

"A good teacher is like a candle - it consumes itself to light the way for others." ~ Author Unknown

I am retiring from teaching.

I typed, backspaced, typed again, backspaced again...numerous times, trying to capture the perfect opening sentence for this blog post.

The truth is, I don't think there is one. Even after deciding on the direct approach, I still hesitated over the word retiring. We all know it's not an actual retirement in which I will still draw a significant amount from TRS each month. Because teaching was a mid-life career change, I couldn't possibly live long enough OR work long enough to reach the formula by which teachers can "officially" retire with any hopes of a semi-decent income. 

Yet, I don't think the right word is QUITTING.

You quit something you no longer enjoy. You quit things that are too hard. You quit things that don't ignite your passion. 

If you were ever really a teacher of the heart, as well as of the mind and soul of a child, you don't quit teaching.

You simply leave at the end of a school year and don't return the next.

The thought of this already makes my heart constrict in something close to pain. As all teachers know, most days are mundane, and also filled with attitudes (poor ones, especially if you teach high school like I do:), lots of tardies and absences, headaches, and much longer hours than the general public realizes. But...just ONE of those rare, sweet days when there is a "light-bulb" moment, or when something extraordinary occurs that your lesson plan didn't account for...just ONE of those is enough to carry you for days, and even weeks at a time.

Many of you thought last year was to be my last in the classroom. For a while, I did as well. Then I had the amazing opportunity to return to my hometown high school as the new Culinary Arts teacher and I just couldn't pass that opportunity up! It has certainly been a wonderful year up to this point, and I get to enjoy three more months in this role, one that I've come to cherish and love and embrace. It doesn't replace my English teacher's heart, but it's a close second:)

Since last August, I've been fortunate (that's lucky AND blessed) to be able to combine my two significant passions - that of teaching and of the hospitality industry - and share these two with about 75 students each day. We've learned recipes, methods, safety, OSHA standards, front house etiquette and backhouse rules and regulations. 

We've shared laughter (lots), tears (not as many but very poignant), thrills, field trips, our problems, "counseling" sessions, and more hugs and smiles that I can even begin to count.  

To say that I'm going to miss teaching is so much of an understatement. Yes, I'm going to miss fulfilling that part of my heart that needs to teach. But I expect I'll always find a way to have teachable moments. I don't believe a real teacher ever vacates the profession; you simply widen your scope and allow for other things to have room in your heart and life as well as teaching. 

That's the fork in the road that I have come to. It's time to widen my scope. Our business has been blessed far beyond what we deserve, and certainly much more than we ever expected it to be this soon. "Soon" is relative since we opened the B&B five years ago! Time has flown and we have worked so, so hard to make it a place that is warm and welcoming, a real asset to our community, and the realization of what we had dreamed for it.

It can't continue to grow and flourish without me taking a day-to-day, "hands-on" position here at the B&B and venue. It's almost humorous to me that I thought I could continue to do both for even a couple more years. Whether it's age or energy, or (hopefully) just the sheer magnitude of what a business with four cabins and a wedding/event venue require - I have found that I can't teach AND be a proprietor and do justice to them both.

I had to make a choice.

I'm sure over the coming months I'll blog more about this newest upcoming transition. Once more, a transplanted gal. When I first named the blog years ago, I had no idea how many times I would refer to myself as a girl transplanted. I think God has had His hand in all of this much, much longer than I have. As always, I am trusting Him for guidance, for direction, and - especially - the wisdom to care for the roles in which He has entrusted to me.

My marriage. My family. Our business.

Quick Getaway to Hot Springs!

I am woefully behind in blogging about our quick little getaway to Hot Springs a few weeks back. One of our New Year "try-fors" (instead of resolutions that cause you to feel such guilt when you break them:) was to have more frequent away time from the B&B. Those are the only real times when we can slow down enough to have honest talks about the things that really matter.

Things like our business. Our other two careers. Our finances. Our marriage. Our family. Our church and friend relationships. It's easier to have the tougher conversations when you're in a neutral place AND you're having a little fun as well!

We chose Hot Springs for this trip for two reasons only: 1) it is close and an easy and pretty drive and 2) my friend Kait and her hubby recently visited and told us all about the most adorable tree house they stayed in.

So...of course we rented a tree house as well. Not the same one, but one in the same area.

This space was was quite magical in several ways. First of all, the B&B owners' attention to detail was beyond supreme. They thought of literally everything. We like to think we do a pretty good job of that ourselves, but we humbly bowed and acknowledged their amazing touches that made the stay so enjoyable. We did laugh out loud (literally) though when we realized that the cabin and the surrounding views were so very similar to our right here at Wildernest. Maybe not in the mountains, but certainly in our part of the piney woods on the hilly Sulphur River ridge.

We basically did five things while there: slept, ate, and spent quality time together. Okay, so we only did three things...but we did a lot of each of the three! We ate fantastic food, strolled downtown, had long, luxurious conversations, and slept to our hearts' content. It was certainly a much needed step OFF the treadmill of life.

Even if for a mere quick 48 hours.

#ThisCouldGetWilder

Our Wedding Day

Mike and I have often joke that we're not real sure just how we ended up married; he never "asked," therefore I never said "yes" - and yet here we are...an old married couple now of almost twenty years.

We were never your ordinary couple, if there is even such a thing. With a substantial age difference between us, and me a young, single mom of two tween boys and he with a daughter in college, neither of us really expected to end up married.

(Mainly because he told me he would never marry again:)

Yet in spite of all the obvious obstacles and definitely in spite of our naysayers, there was an undeniable meeting of two hearts that needed one another. He traveled a lot for work and I was busy with a full-time job as well as mothering full-time, and we didn't see a whole lot of one another. In fact, we probably date more now than we ever did during our courtship.

But we wrote letters. So. Many. Letters. We still have them - hundreds - tucked away in a private spot. Every so often one of us will pull them out and we'll sit in our bed and take turns choosing one at random and read it out loud to the other. That was our courtship; through words spoken from the heart we came to know the true essence of the other. There was no holding back. Again, we didn't expect to marry; instead, we thought we had found a safe place to pour out our hurts from the past, our dreams for the future, our hopes for our respective children, and - yes - what we were going to do about this growing need we each felt to be with the other.

I'll not go into how we got from there to our wedding day; it's sacred and completely, totally a God-thing. But I still stand by the fact that there was no proposal; there was nothing uber romantic about how we arrived to our special day. However, the road there - and since - has been paved with more romance than some experience in their entire life.

I've never given any thought whatsoever to renewing our vows. Yet, as we draw closer to our 20th anniversary, we've talked a bit about it. Not because we feel the need to recite vows or declare our love and commitment; we both know more than ever that our love was destined. We are meant to BE.

But the road from being a "blended" family to a FAMILY has been one that's not always been easy. The easy part is falling in love, caring for each other's kids enough to open your heart and life to them, and seeing it all play out perfectly in your mind.

The harsher reality is that you're dealing with sensitive little hearts that don't fully understand what is happening and you're trying to find words to explain to your almost grown daughter why - after all this time - you've decided to not only marry, but to take on the care and raising of two young boys.

Again, I'll save all of our experiences and the ups and downs and ins and outs of our journey to unity for the five of us. What is the most important thing is that no one gave up; we allowed everyone to move at their own pace. The boys received a bonus dad that they lovingly refer to as Pops now; I received not what I would call a step-daughter - though that is what she is - but one of my closest and best friends.

This all took time, but time took care of all of our hearts.

Somewhere along the way, we melded and became one big, happy family. Then the boys were grown and marrying, and we then had three amazing children-in-law, as well as three phenomenal children. Now we have three grands that light our world in ways we never knew was possible.

What deserves to be celebrated and rejoiced over is that. Our kids. Our grands. Our family.

Two weeks ago, we were driving down the road and suddenly Mike pulls over to the side and puts the truck in park. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ring, takes my hand with his free one, looks me straight in the eye and says,

"Mrs. Wilder, would you do me the honor of marrying me again?"

He asked, y'all!

I said YES.

Next December, when we have our family all together to celebrate Christmas, we'll stand with our kids and grands and renew our vows. Not just to each other, but to all nine of them. If they wish (and I hope they do!) we want them to say what they would like. If the grands want to speak, we welcome it! (We feel quite certain that 5 year old George will have something entertaining to offer up:)

Back then - on our wedding day - we became a family in name, but these days, we are a family in heart.

Watching our grown children interact with each other, share in big group text conversations, laugh and joke together is the single most favorite sight and sound we love the most in this whole entire world. All 11 of us aren't together too often due to living in various parts of Texas; but when we are, it's heaven on earth for Pops and I.

I love who we are together, not just Mike and I, but all eleven of us. I treasure the road that led us here, I embrace the moments that were difficult, and often rocky or even scary. Each experience, each year, each milestone built our family's foundation.

And it's a firm one.

One that will stand the test of time.

So in December we will renew our vows, and we'll look into one another's eyes, but then we'll turn and look at our kids and grands that stand there with us and - more than anything - we'll just give thanks for the blessing that came with an unexpected love, an anything-but-ordinary courtship, and the five hearts that blended together in love.

Our tinies.

Pre-Construction, Pre-Movement to the Woods:)

I don't remember just when we began to toss about the idea of incorporating a couple of built out shipping/sea containers into our B&B's cabin inventory. But I do remember I was not a fan at first!

Unlike Mike, who claims that I am the visionary, I have a difficult time seeing the end result of something so...out of the ordinary. He - on the other hand - saw it all from the first time we stepped out of our truck to view our first container purchase. Where I saw dents and dings, dirt and grime, he was already envisioning primer, sheetrock, wall placement, plumbing fixtures, and electrical outlets. Where I saw a big, empty - yet very TINY space, my husband saw cozy, cabin getaways that a certain segment of our guest population would absolutely adore.

We had already watched about 1373.86 hours of HGTV and DIY, meticulously studying ways to maximize every square inch of liveable space, carefully noting the do's and don'ts when it comes to doing it yourself. We were all read up on timelines and sticking to your budget and where to invest more money and where to save it. 

But then we began construction and...

it all went out the window. Well, not ALL of it; let's just say that had a television camera crew been following US around, it would probably fall under the genre of comedy. Or tragedy. Tragic comedy - there you go!

For real...SHOW ME SOMEONE THAT CAN COMPLETE A TINY HOME IN 6 WEEKS AND I'LL DO THEIR LAUNDRY FOR A YEAR!  (Caveat: must  be a first-time amateur:)

The lessons we learned, y'all. The HARD way. Lessons that had us, alternately, smiling, crying, high-fiving, bleeding, taking ambulance rides for dehydration, c&%*ing, walking away only to return again. And again. And again. 

Now I was already madly, deeply in love with Mike Wilder, but let me just say, watching him pour his heart, soul, (literal) blood and tears into these labor of loves took that love to an all new level. I truly believe this man can do anything he sets his mind to. 

We in NO WAY AT ALL came EVEN CLOSE to meeting our timeline and the Good Lord knows we broke that budget! But the result at at the end of the project, once we set the horse trough tubs in place in the bathrooms, installed the industrial pipe lighting, added the open shelving, hung the precious curtains at each window, placed newly plush towels in their holders, made the beds, and laid the rugs...

There are no words. 

Our two tinies - The Cowboy and The Rancher - must be experienced to understand. They are tiny works of pure art. Cozy retreats, with a window (and a deck, table and chairs) into the raw nature and our trails which surround them. They are serene and beautiful. They are tiny and breathtaking.

They are a piece of our combined souls.

They are the perfect compliment to the B&B!!!

                        

___________________________________________

For MANY more pictures of both tinies, as well as our other facilities OR to make reservations, visit wildernestbedandbreakfast.com or call 903-246-9220.

Recovering.

It was a perfect storm, really. 

Enough chaos going on in my body that I wasn't sure which end was up and which was down. The quote from Steele Magnolias comes to mind, when Truvy says, "Oh Sammy's so confused he don't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt."

That was me, y'all, these past couple of weeks.

This is not going to be a long drawn out post on my ailments; just a quick reason why I've been MIA for those of you who have inquired. {Speaking of that, I know I am woefully behind on texts and emails; I'm working my way through them!}

It started with a pinched nerve in my neck - about three weeks ago. I ignored it as I'm apt to do, until it became too painful to turn my head. By then it was a mere couple of days before our big 2019 Bridal Expo and there was just simply no time to stop and pay attention to - you know- THE IMPORTANT THINGS LIKE HEALTH. 

I soldiered on, by then limping because who even knows how a pinched nerve can cause you to limp? But there I was, powering through that big 'ol weekend smiling away with a literal pain in the neck and a noticeable limp. I was a thing of beauty, I am quite certain. 

After finally making an appointment with my chiropractor the next week, I felt hopeful that things were on the mend. My culinary class experienced a legit King Cake from Lyla's Bakery in Shreveport, we planned two Cajun meals, as well as salads and dressings we'd be making, while my Principles of Hospitality classes continued their major project on a theme park based on a children's book. Things were going well.

Until the aching started. I use the term aching lightly because I just can't think of a more accurate term. Pain seems TOO much, but my extreme discomfort fell somewhere in between the two. Not pain, but certainly more than ache. I laid awake for two nights, tossing and turning, unable to find a position that did not hurt. I blamed the adjustments I was receiving since I knew my back and neck were in a really jacked up position, but when I ended up in my chiropractor's office a day later and he saw my condition, he gently said, "I think you may have the flu."

No. I shook my head against that possibility. There's no fever. No chills. Just an upset stomach and this ACHING. 

Then the chills came. And, of course, the fever. And even more aching. By this point I had not eaten in three days. Even keeping water down was a challenge. When Mike came home from his out of town meetings (oh yeah, did I mention it was just the pups and I at home and - by this time - they were getting tired of going to bed at 6:45 every night:) he immediately called to get me in to the doctor.

So yesterday I find out that there is a stomach bug going around that is not to be confused with the flu - also going around - and, as she put it, "You were just in the right place to contract both at the same time."

Several bottles of Gatorade, lots of naps, a half a bottle of ibuprofen, some Tamiflu, and loads of water later I'm happy to report that I feel on the road to recovery. 

DISCLAIMER: I did not get a flu shot this year. I will not make that mistake again. YES, you CAN still get the flu even after taking the shot, but - trust me - the symptoms are much less violent, easier to control, and you won't think you are nigh unto death.

Hot Springs Getaway

Whispering Pines Tree House

Last year, in January, we had THE sweetest young couple choose Wildernest B&B for their "beginning of the year" getaway. They explained to us that they do this each year, a time to financial plan, have some of the hard conversations, and set both personal and couple goals for the upcoming year.

They very deliberately decided on a place away from home because - we all know - these types of conversations at home often become interrupted, or - dare I say truthfully - even heated? 

My sweet husband and I have taken a cue from them and are taking our "yearly planning" on the road this year. It didn't happen in January, but we are taking this Thursday and Friday off of work and traveling to Hot Springs, Arkansas - just a short hop down the road from us. After taking care of some necessary appointments/duties on Thursday, we'll hit the road and enjoy a couple of nights away to rest, plan, prepare, and set our financial goals for 2019.

This is a first for us, and we will definitely document this time and blog about it in the next few weeks. It doesn't matter if you're newlyweds, married with small children, empty nesters, or enjoying your "Pipe Dreams" like we are - having a PLAN and CONSISTENTLY working it together is just so important.

So...Whispering Pines, we will be tucked away in your part of YOUR piney woods in just a few short days, ready to rest, recharge, and plan. Our mutual couple goal for this year is to live intentionally, move forward with purpose, and take better care of our families, our children, and our grands!

Does anyone relate to this subject? Drop a comment if you want to share! If you'll leave a comment, we'll send you a little takeaway from Hot Springs upon our return!

Many blessings on this Sunday!

A nostalgic look back at our 2018 weddings at the venue!

Oh. my. gracious, y'all.

I knew we had a dozen gorgeous and completely unique weddings here at The Hitchin' Post this past calendar year. I attended several of them, and helped out with a majority.

Yet it wasn't until I sat down and began to put together this video that I realized JUST what a banner year it really was! I have to say, I teared up once I'd completed it and then watched it from beginning to end the first time.

So. Many. Memories.

Beautiful, heart-warming, once-in-a-lifetime memories. And to think that Mike and I were privileged enough to have a front row seat (figuratively speaking) at these unions is humbling. We are so thankful to our brides and grooms for trusting us with their BEST. DAY. EVER!

Enjoy the video!

Heart matters.

My brother and I spent quite a lot of time together this past summer. We probably had some of the best conversations of our adult lives. I guess the fact that I'm 50 and he has since turned 46 might make that seem kind of sad; I say, better late than never!

There's a whole lot to say for getting a bit older. You care less about the opinions others hold of us, and a whole lot more about the people important to you. It's kind of a strange season in which to be living: so happy and content with where you are in life, but from time to time you wish for that restart button so that you have the chance to go back and do it alllllll right from the very beginning.

But that's Life. 

No restarts. No resets. No do-overs.

You live. You learn. You do better. And you hope like heck that's good enough.

One of our summer conversations launched into a discussion over how much we have all changed - him, me, Mom, Dad - over the past several years. For the two of us, we are further away from our prior younger selves who may or may not have felt the need to analyze, complain, and maybe even pick apart the people we love and - instead - we're much closer to the people we really want to be - accepting and loving children, spouses, siblings, parents, and friends, understanding that those whom we love are not perfect. Just as we're not.

What growing older {and hopefully wiser} teaches us is that the things that sometimes drive us crazy about our loved ones are often manifestations of their own pain and past. We all have those. Maybe our acceptance of those around us for everything they are mirrors the journey of our acceptance of our own weaknesses, our own pain and past, our own paths. And maybe when we accept both - ourselves and those we love for exactly what they are - flawed, coming up short every now and then - and for exactly who they are - our blood, bone, and flesh who love us in spite of ourselves at times...maybe then we create the perfect environment for growth and improvement, and for the greatest love stories.

Some people are very uncomfortable with the idea of disappointing anyone. They think that if you are kind, you'll never disappoint. If you try hard enough, if you manage your time well enough, if you are selfless enough, prayerful enough, godly enough, you'll never disappoint anyone. This type of thinking leads to one place: disappointment in yourself.

I know this because I was this person. On some days I am still this person. But something I know for sure is that along the way you will disappoint others. You won't meet their expectations. You won't meet their needs. The trick is becoming okay in these moments. Know that they are just that...moments. Tomorrow we get to wake up and try all over again. 

Taking care of everyone in our busy lives is a J.O.B.

Am I right? 

Yet we continue to try to do just that - take care of everyone! ALLLL the people. It's just not possible. We are human, mere skin and bones, with a heart that both loves and hurts, and a mind that constantly tries to reconcile the love and the hurt. Wanting it to all make sense, all of the time. 

Again, this is Life. It's not like our check book or bank account. It doesn't always "reconcile." And it for dang sure doesn't always make sense. 

If I think about the relationships in my life being like concentric circles (did I actually just use a MATH term? whaaaat???) with the inner circle consisting of our spouse, children, parent & sibs, and very closest friends. Then maybe the next circle is our extended family and good friends. Then the next one would be people we know, but not well or intimately, maybe coworkers or acquaintances; people we don't necessarily share our true self with. If I think about it all this way, my logic tells me that my aim should be to not disappoint those closest to me - those in that first circle. Yet all too often it's work and all of the extra duties and responsibilities we take on that we place the most value on. Not intentionally, never on purpose. But, usually, the "normal" person only disappoints because they are limited. 

I can only give so much. Hours during the day are limited. Time is limited. On some days, my abilities and strengths are limited. My energy is limited. And yes - my patience as well. 

I find myself disappointed with myself when I feel I don't bring my "A" game to the classroom, when I tell a student I'll write that letter of recommendation and then I forget. When I am scheduled for an ARD or a meeting and I don't remember it until the very last second and I rush in, out of breath, out of energy, and out of patience. 

That's my reality.

My goal for this year is to attempt to bring my heart in more alignment with my logic. Save that energy for the people who deserve it the most. Pray for patience when its needed most, with those I love the most. Give my time and abilities and energy to the relationships that shape me, that raised me, that grew up with me, that love me and shelter me from the winds and storms of this life. 

Does that mean I will care less about my job? About my other responsibilities? Duties? Sponsorships? Committees? 

Not at all.

If it works the way it should - the way I truly believe God intends for it to work - I will have what I need to do what I need to do, when I need it done...if I'm faithful to those He has placed within my closest circle. Those that surround and fill my heart. 

My prayer is that I can do this. 

YOU know what I meme.

Late last night was one of those times when just about everything was striking me as really funny. I sat in bed, reading by my little clip light, trying not to disturb Mike, who was about half-asleep, when I glimpsed my phone lighting up on my nightstand. I reached over and picked it up, and scrolled my latest notifications for a few minutes. The very thing you are NOT suppose to do when you are trying to wind down for the night:)

But like I said, it was just one of those times and everything was funny. We had experienced a bit of a "heightened" day at school, we teachers, going through the second part of our A.L.I.C.E. training, which prepares you for active shooter situations. We role-played several scenarios and, just being honest, it was a bit unnerving. Plus yesterday would have been my mother-in-law's 99th birthday! And even though we would not call her back to this earth and all its earthly pain and problems, we definitely still feel her loss, especially on days like yesterday. Between those two events, Mike was just slap-dab tired and there I was wired, reading, and laughing.

"Hey babe..." I whispered in case he was already asleep.

"HM??" Not asleep, just has his eyes closed.

I held up my phone. "Did you see the meme Mandy posted?"

"Meme? You mean mime?"

"No, a meme. You know what a meme is, don't you?"

"Well, sure." Eyes still closed, he acted out a MIME feeling out a wall. "But it's called a mime, not a meme."

Full out laughing by now, I made him open his eyes and look at the meme. "Okay. So that's a meme?"

"Yes! How can you not know what a meme is? Where have you been?"

"Oh, I don't know. Stuck here in the country, I guess. I don't get out much. Ride the tractor a lot. Haven't been traveling." All of this spoken in his best ever hillbilly voice.

"Whatever. You know what a meme is." I went back to my book.

After a few minutes..."I don't know what you meme." He mumbles. I laugh.

Another few seconds. "Okay, now you're just being meme."

I keep reading.

Very quietly, he continues to mumble, "Meme-while...."

It's so nice when you can end a stressful day full-out laughing with your best friend over...meme-ingless things, isn't it?

In search of hot coffee.

"Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it's hard to go back to sleep." - Fran Dresher

Ah...so much symbolism in that quote, am I right? Both, literally and figuratively!

The at-rest English teacher in me could go on and on about the difficulties of "turning off"  one's social or moral consciousness once it has been awakened to TRUTH. Yeah, I could do that alright, except for one problem.

I'm in search of hot coffee this morning.

LIT.ER.AL.LY. (Haylie & Betsy, if you should ever stumble over this, I know this pronunciation will bring a smile and memories :)

Mike and I must surely have the Worst. Luck. Ever. with coffee pots. I mean, really, it's not a complicated piece of engineered machinery; in fact, it's one of the more simple of the kitchen appliances, correct?

Ummm...apparently noooooootttttt.

We are on the third morning in a row where a less-than-a-year old drip coffee pot (our preference at the moment) leaks out water (through some crevice or space we cannot FIND), making a wet mess all over the counter, and producing a mere cup or so of meh coffee.

I don't know about in YOUR house, but coffee is esteemed and needed and we pretty much expect it to show up before we do! We are both morning people, essentially, but we still have needs. Like, no talking that really means anything of substance until the first cup has been consumed.

It's not the time to tell him about a project I'm introducing that day at school. It's not the hour for him to detail a meeting he'll be participating in later that afternoon. It's certainly not the time for either one of us to "remind" the other of certain B&B chores that need to be done - especially if there is a tight timeline involved. :) LOL. If we venture there, we do so on tiptoes, knowing to expect THE stare or maybe an eye roll, or - our favorite - pretending like you didn't even hear anything at all!

One single cup of perfectly brewed coffee does so much, people! It's crucial. I don't have many vices in this life, but coffee is one of them. A long-time Diet Coke ADDICT, I cold turkey gave it up due to the aspartame a number of years ago. It's not that I CAN'T go without something; it's that coffee is soooo pleasurable as well as necessary. I've "given it up" on several occasions, none of them to any avail.

"Coffee has always been a significant part of my life. For me, it's a chance to start my day and gather my thoughts - it's fuel for my creative process."  - Connor Franta

On school mornings, I set the alarm (and actually get UP) a good 45 minutes before I need to, just to have quiet coffee time on the couch before I start my day. I'd like to be able to say that the time is used for personal devotions or prayer or something equally valuable and essential, but more often than not, it's a simple time. I sit, sip, move very little, but slowly - ever so slowly - my brain begins to wake, I begin to think, and then plan. Then the to-do lists, the checking of the calendar, the updating of the lesson plan, the talking to God, and the soul-felt desires for the day begin to ease their way out of me. THEN...and only then, am I ready to face the day at my best.

I guess we started off our marriage with a traditional Mr. Coffee; to be honest, I just can't remember. But I DO remember when we both realized our coffee pot was one item we both agreed was worth a little money spent. We invested in a Cuisinart brew set with a built-in grinder. Truly, we were both enamored of that machine. It was good to us and gave us good, strong coffee with amazingly ground, fresh bean flavor...until it didn't. I think we probably eaked about 3 years out of that one. In hindsight, I realize that is a fairly good life span for a coffee maker.

By the time this beloved brewer gave up the ghost, Keurig was all the rage. Intrigued by the pods (WHAT? We could EACH have our OWN choice of flavor - in the SAME morning?) It seemed the biggest issue we might face would be - who would get that first cup while the other waited???

It seemed wayyyy too good of a product not to try, so we joined the masses and purchased our first one. And it was magnificent in many ways. Not only could we both enjoy our own preferences, but there was little to no waste; you brewed the cups you wanted and no more. No waste, that is, unless you consider the then-empty pods that needed a final resting spot. By this time, we were living in Northeast Texas, in a small, rural community with no recycling pick-up program like we were accustomed to. Each time we dropped that pod into the trash can, I'm pretty sure a little, tiny piece of us cringed in horror. What kind of world were we leaving behind for our grands?  (Yes, I am absolutely over-dramatizing here; however, it did bother us and the waste is apparent even if we AREN'T tree-huggers.)


 This was the original Keurig and, I'm proud to say, still brews amazing cups of coffee for the guests up at The Cabin, here at the B&B. Since it was first generation, it was simple to operate - three buttons, no clock, no extra bells or whistles - just good, hot coffee, one cup at a time. We would probably STILL be using that model if we hadn't been lured by all of the hype and attention that the next generation of Keurig was receiving. It would not only allow you to brew that one, single cup, but it gave you the option of brewing a POT as well!

The best of both worlds! HOW could this NOT be the perfect coffee machine for our home?

It's still really unclear to me why we didn't along with this Keurig, but there was - and is  - absolutely no love lost between the three of us. We tried...oh, we tried! The single cup portion worked fairly well, even though it was rare that you'd ever get a full cup. The pot side - well, we could never get it to brew a pot as rich and as flavorful as what we liked. We added new water filters. To our machine AND to our faucet:) We experimented with flavors and brands and brew strengths. I think - at the end of the day - it was all of those BUTTONS...and the set of directions that felt more like the next Great American Novel wanna be than a simple manual on how to make a pot of coffee. We grew disenchanted after more than a few struggles and gave this one to our son, Jordan and his wife, Elizabeth, who took it home and proceeded (if I'm not mistaken, they are STILL using it) to brew coffee, day and night, pot and cup, for like ever and ever and ever....

We were back on the hunt. By this time, our lives are quite busy. Both of us have crazy schedules, Mike with his territory sales and traveling, me with teaching, and both of us with trying to grow a healthy and successful B&B business. We decided on the KISS method of purchase for this go around - keep it simple, stupid!

Back to Mr. Coffee we went. Twelve cup pot, on and off switch. It did have a clock, which was really, really awesome while it remembered to turn itself on the mornings we had it set to start automatically. Needless to say, that feature didn't last, but we've hung in. "Making" the coffee the night before means measuring out our desired cups (based on how we feel at night, which does NOT always equate to how we'll feel about it in the mornings, sadly...), adding water, and then going to bed with a hope and a prayer.

This has worked really well for the better part of a year.

No more.

This morning this machine brewed its last cup. We will be putting it out of its misery (and ours) today. I will go to Target (YES, I said TARGET, which means driving to Texarkana, perimeter shopping AND cruising each and every aisle as if I have no where to go tomorrow...because I DON'T!  Chick-fil-A and Starbucks may or may not also be involved in this trip:) and purchase yet another coffee maker. Hopefully one that will be everything we dream of, which - at this point - is not a whole lot other than hot, dependable, with as few buttons as possible.

If you're still reading, you are a GOOD person. Or a BORED person. Either way, thank you lots and, if you have a coffee maker that you adore, PLEASE drop a comment, either here or on FB or Insta!

Caffeine-deprived but grateful & blessed,

Staci