Capsule Wardrobes.

Raise your hand if you have a constant struggle with your closet/closet space?

I do, I do! {both hands raised high!}

Truth be told, we have a rather large, walk-in closet, with more than enough room for Mike and I both to have hang-ups, shelf space, room for shoes/boots/flip flops, and accessories such as caps, scarves, and bags/purses. That's the reality, and the dream.

The day-to-day reality is that, even though I can probably be labeled a "neat freak" when it comes to the visible portions of my home, if you open a closet door uninvited, you better jump back, Jack! There is just no telling what may fall out or down and conk you right on the noggin! 

I have truly great intentions about keeping an organized closet each and every time I clean it out. I have a friend who has a stool that sits in the middle of her closet; a place where she can sit as she leisurely picks out her day's attire. Doesn't that sound dreamy, and so Lisa Vanderpump?

Um, no...just no. First, there is no room for said stool in my closet. Second, there is nothing "leisurely" most days about picking out my clothes. It's more of a hunt and scramble type thing. Let's call it "search and rescue." I summon a deep breath, recall what that item of clothing looks like, and then I go in head-first, throwing, tossing, and moving things about until I manage to locate the precious piece. Usually to find it needs ironing.

Which is another um....no. 

So, in an effort to simplify my clothing life to match the simplification we've made in virtually every other area of our lives, I began to research wardrobe capsules about a year ago. The premise is that you pare down your wardrobe to just a collection of a few essential items that never really go out of style, and that you can mix & match to create a nice ensemble of outfits. 

Depending on your lifestyle, what type of geography in your live in, and your budget, this collection can range in number from 9 items up to 25 or so. The idea is that you spend a bit more on these essentials since they are "classics" and will last you season after season, and then each year (or season, for those who have a capsule for each quarter) you can add 2 or 3 items that are trendy or popular. This is also often where you add your pops of color.

I decided that our trip to NYC during this Christmas break was the perfect opportunity to try this out. Kind of like an experiment; a smaller capsule to practice with and see if I think it's something I could do on the daily. The plot twist was that I not only wanted a capsule, but I wanted it aaaalllll to fit into my carry on bag, because I detest checking bags at the airport just. that. much. 

To prepare, I did cheat a bit (okay, maybe more than just a bit) and consulted a stylist at Front Door Fashion, a group of in-house stylists based in Dallas, who get "to know you" via your online portfolio, phone calls, texts, emails (really, whatever works for you - they are super flexible). They ask about what you are needing, wanting, etc. and then they hand select a group of clothing and accessory items that they hope are just what you are looking for, pack them into a box, and ship them (usually next day) to your front door. You have several days to try on the clothing in the privacy of your own home, decide what (if any) that you want to keep, and then you ship what you don't want back (free of charge) to your stylist. You pay for just what you keep.

***Brief caveat*** This is not a cheap service and the items they send tend to be really quality items and at a price point that you (me, anyway) would not normally pay. Keep an open mind and remember that these are pieces that are here to stay.***

However, since I had a plan, and I knew I needed some really good "essentials" I decided to give it a go. I got lucky with my stylist, Rachel, and we hit it off right away. You do have the option of choosing your own stylist and you can read their profiles here, but since I didn't know any of them and - really - didn't have a clue as to what my style could be categorized as, I took a chance on whoever picked me up:) Thankfully, it was Rachel!

Rachel listened to what I wanted to do with a capsule wardrobe and I tried to convey my style preferences, but I didn't do a very good job. The first box that I immediately received from Rachel was one where I returned every single piece. Every. Single. Piece. 

I almost gave up at that point. But Rachel reached out and asked more questions and - this time - I just let it flow about what I wanted. It wasn't in "fashion terms" or probably even anything that made sense...except she got me that time. Knowing that we were about to travel to New York City for the holiday, the next box was filled with 9 things that I wanted to keep forever and ever and ever. 

But I'm a teacher and a thriving entrepreneur; I can't afford that:)

Instead, I picked out five items that I knew I could wear again and again, through the next several years, and I splurged. Yes, splurged, a word that isn't usually in my vocabulary. (I'm tagging Rachel in this post, so I hope she either plugs her ears here or gives me a "thumbs up" sign of approval:) But y'all remember that old show that used to come on called "The Look for Less"? 

I performed my own version of that, taking what I had learned from Rachel, and then shopping at Old Navy. It was that easy. I didn't even go into the store; merely ordered online and got REALLY lucky that everything fit! Score. 

Below, you'll see the items that made the cut for the trip. 19 total items for me (minus undies and TSA-approved toiletries), including outerwear and my duffel and cross-body purse! Mike and I DID, very successfully, pack compactly and precisely, and each boarded the plane with 1 personal item and 1 carry on! Y'all, I lived out of that one weekender bag for an entire week. It. Can. Be. Done!!!!

1)Navy TART wrap dress (Front Door Fashion)

2)Floral/geo print thin Debbie Martin Designs scarf (Front Door Fashion)

3)Black Stevie Ponte pants (Old Navy - also great for under the gray dress; thicker than leggings)

4)LINDA black/cognac suede bootie (JustFab - 2nd winter to wear these)

5)Black & Gray long sleeve T (Old Navy)

6)Boyfriend Jean (Old Navy)

7)Blue/cognac print poncho (Chico - gift from Amy last year)

8)Heather Gray Jersey Crew Neck Tee Dress (Old Navy)

9)Taupe long car coat (Old Navy - carried this on the plane so I didn't have to pack)

10)Packable cold weather coat (Old Navy)

11) Cognac cross-body purse (Old Navy)

12) Rust beanie & gloves (Jane.com)

13)Navy/Cognac monogrammed rain/weather boots 

14)Black buffalo plaid duffel with cognac straps (Jane.com)

15)Cognac earrings (Front Door Fashion)

16)Gold cuff (Target)

17)Multi-colored infinity plaid scarf (Jane.com)

Each item was easily mix and matched and paired with at least one, if not two, other outfits. My go-to colors (obviously) were the neutrals (black, gray, navy, cognac) with pops of color (rust, gold, and various shades of blue) thrown in. I never repeated an outfit for the entire 7 days! 

Mike and I each purchased a set of "packing cubes." Mine are shown here (red) and his are blue. This set (from Amazon) came with 4 cubes plus a handy matching "dirty clothes" bag. If you match your cubes to the bag you wish to carry on, fill only those bags, then you are good to go! This experiment was not only useful and beneficial, but also super fun!!!

Tomorrow morning is "clean out closet while binge-watching something interesting" in order to scale down my closet, make it more manageable, give really great clothing that I know I'll never wear again to folks who will, and come up with the perfect Winter into Spring Teacher Capsule Wardrobe.  (Photos on that after it actually happens:)

***If you decide to give FDF a try, please use my referral code!*** ALSO, they accept appointments at their Dallas location. So if you're looking for a fun and different "girl's day," this just might be it! I plan to make an appointment myself in the near future!

In search of hot coffee.

"Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it's hard to go back to sleep." - Fran Dresher

Ah...so much symbolism in that quote, am I right? Both, literally and figuratively!

The at-rest English teacher in me could go on and on about the difficulties of "turning off"  one's social or moral consciousness once it has been awakened to TRUTH. Yeah, I could do that alright, except for one problem.

I'm in search of hot coffee this morning.

LIT.ER.AL.LY. (Haylie & Betsy, if you should ever stumble over this, I know this pronunciation will bring a smile and memories :)

Mike and I must surely have the Worst. Luck. Ever. with coffee pots. I mean, really, it's not a complicated piece of engineered machinery; in fact, it's one of the more simple of the kitchen appliances, correct?

Ummm...apparently noooooootttttt.

We are on the third morning in a row where a less-than-a-year old drip coffee pot (our preference at the moment) leaks out water (through some crevice or space we cannot FIND), making a wet mess all over the counter, and producing a mere cup or so of meh coffee.

I don't know about in YOUR house, but coffee is esteemed and needed and we pretty much expect it to show up before we do! We are both morning people, essentially, but we still have needs. Like, no talking that really means anything of substance until the first cup has been consumed.

It's not the time to tell him about a project I'm introducing that day at school. It's not the hour for him to detail a meeting he'll be participating in later that afternoon. It's certainly not the time for either one of us to "remind" the other of certain B&B chores that need to be done - especially if there is a tight timeline involved. :) LOL. If we venture there, we do so on tiptoes, knowing to expect THE stare or maybe an eye roll, or - our favorite - pretending like you didn't even hear anything at all!

One single cup of perfectly brewed coffee does so much, people! It's crucial. I don't have many vices in this life, but coffee is one of them. A long-time Diet Coke ADDICT, I cold turkey gave it up due to the aspartame a number of years ago. It's not that I CAN'T go without something; it's that coffee is soooo pleasurable as well as necessary. I've "given it up" on several occasions, none of them to any avail.

"Coffee has always been a significant part of my life. For me, it's a chance to start my day and gather my thoughts - it's fuel for my creative process."  - Connor Franta

On school mornings, I set the alarm (and actually get UP) a good 45 minutes before I need to, just to have quiet coffee time on the couch before I start my day. I'd like to be able to say that the time is used for personal devotions or prayer or something equally valuable and essential, but more often than not, it's a simple time. I sit, sip, move very little, but slowly - ever so slowly - my brain begins to wake, I begin to think, and then plan. Then the to-do lists, the checking of the calendar, the updating of the lesson plan, the talking to God, and the soul-felt desires for the day begin to ease their way out of me. THEN...and only then, am I ready to face the day at my best.

I guess we started off our marriage with a traditional Mr. Coffee; to be honest, I just can't remember. But I DO remember when we both realized our coffee pot was one item we both agreed was worth a little money spent. We invested in a Cuisinart brew set with a built-in grinder. Truly, we were both enamored of that machine. It was good to us and gave us good, strong coffee with amazingly ground, fresh bean flavor...until it didn't. I think we probably eaked about 3 years out of that one. In hindsight, I realize that is a fairly good life span for a coffee maker.

By the time this beloved brewer gave up the ghost, Keurig was all the rage. Intrigued by the pods (WHAT? We could EACH have our OWN choice of flavor - in the SAME morning?) It seemed the biggest issue we might face would be - who would get that first cup while the other waited???

It seemed wayyyy too good of a product not to try, so we joined the masses and purchased our first one. And it was magnificent in many ways. Not only could we both enjoy our own preferences, but there was little to no waste; you brewed the cups you wanted and no more. No waste, that is, unless you consider the then-empty pods that needed a final resting spot. By this time, we were living in Northeast Texas, in a small, rural community with no recycling pick-up program like we were accustomed to. Each time we dropped that pod into the trash can, I'm pretty sure a little, tiny piece of us cringed in horror. What kind of world were we leaving behind for our grands?  (Yes, I am absolutely over-dramatizing here; however, it did bother us and the waste is apparent even if we AREN'T tree-huggers.)


 This was the original Keurig and, I'm proud to say, still brews amazing cups of coffee for the guests up at The Cabin, here at the B&B. Since it was first generation, it was simple to operate - three buttons, no clock, no extra bells or whistles - just good, hot coffee, one cup at a time. We would probably STILL be using that model if we hadn't been lured by all of the hype and attention that the next generation of Keurig was receiving. It would not only allow you to brew that one, single cup, but it gave you the option of brewing a POT as well!

The best of both worlds! HOW could this NOT be the perfect coffee machine for our home?

It's still really unclear to me why we didn't along with this Keurig, but there was - and is  - absolutely no love lost between the three of us. We tried...oh, we tried! The single cup portion worked fairly well, even though it was rare that you'd ever get a full cup. The pot side - well, we could never get it to brew a pot as rich and as flavorful as what we liked. We added new water filters. To our machine AND to our faucet:) We experimented with flavors and brands and brew strengths. I think - at the end of the day - it was all of those BUTTONS...and the set of directions that felt more like the next Great American Novel wanna be than a simple manual on how to make a pot of coffee. We grew disenchanted after more than a few struggles and gave this one to our son, Jordan and his wife, Elizabeth, who took it home and proceeded (if I'm not mistaken, they are STILL using it) to brew coffee, day and night, pot and cup, for like ever and ever and ever....

We were back on the hunt. By this time, our lives are quite busy. Both of us have crazy schedules, Mike with his territory sales and traveling, me with teaching, and both of us with trying to grow a healthy and successful B&B business. We decided on the KISS method of purchase for this go around - keep it simple, stupid!

Back to Mr. Coffee we went. Twelve cup pot, on and off switch. It did have a clock, which was really, really awesome while it remembered to turn itself on the mornings we had it set to start automatically. Needless to say, that feature didn't last, but we've hung in. "Making" the coffee the night before means measuring out our desired cups (based on how we feel at night, which does NOT always equate to how we'll feel about it in the mornings, sadly...), adding water, and then going to bed with a hope and a prayer.

This has worked really well for the better part of a year.

No more.

This morning this machine brewed its last cup. We will be putting it out of its misery (and ours) today. I will go to Target (YES, I said TARGET, which means driving to Texarkana, perimeter shopping AND cruising each and every aisle as if I have no where to go tomorrow...because I DON'T!  Chick-fil-A and Starbucks may or may not also be involved in this trip:) and purchase yet another coffee maker. Hopefully one that will be everything we dream of, which - at this point - is not a whole lot other than hot, dependable, with as few buttons as possible.

If you're still reading, you are a GOOD person. Or a BORED person. Either way, thank you lots and, if you have a coffee maker that you adore, PLEASE drop a comment, either here or on FB or Insta!

Caffeine-deprived but grateful & blessed,

Staci

ndulge n life.

"I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples."  - Mother Teresa

I have always been so fascinated...maybe the better word is driven...to somehow change the world. Now I don't mean that in an I'm going to run for Presidential office type of way, or even the mindset that I somehow have the ability within my own power to effect a change that could alter a person's lifelong circumstances.

Believe me, I'm not that self-confident, nor am I that naive. Instead, I've always bought into the belief that every single person, collectively, makes a difference in the world around them; the difference in the size of the impact comes down to the level of care we have in doing so, and in the effort we are willing to put forth to make it happen.

"I tried to change the world, but I was outnumbered." - unknown

Too many times, our lack of confidence, or belief, or conviction in what we are doing quickly shuts down the efforts we had so wholeheartedly embraced but a little while back. Whether we allow our own self-doubt, or the negativity of the voices around us to influence our thinking, we give up without hanging around to actually see the change take place. And I truly believe change takes place when folks put out the effort. It may not always be in their lifetime, or while they are still close to see it, and that's a shame simply because we are human and humans require validation. Some of us like to think that we don't...but...yeah, we do...

Yesterday I blogged about my KREW.  The diverse group of women of all ages and walks of life, with different goals, varying personalities, and obvious differences - but united by one thing: the single belief that when we lift one another up through positive affirmation we help ourselves, we help others, and we help the generation of women coming along behind us. Even though our lives have been blessed beyond measure these past few months and these ladies are busy with the "next chapter" God is calling them to (we will still keep Insta going somehow!!!:), I knew that I personally wasn't through with this mission. Instead, I needed to find a way for my busy life and my talents to now fit into someone else's magnificent "vision."

A few months ago I found that in ndulge. After doing due diligence, both as a researcher and as a consumer, I was blown away, overjoyed, and beyond excited to jump on board with this growing, excited group of ladies! I knew I needed to wait, though, as things around the B&B, school, and family were pressing me and I was all too aware that I needed - more than ever - to give of myself, but to do so in a way that was respectful of the life I live, the jobs I work, and the family I love.

So I've spent the past three months getting ready for this day. The day when I could finally introduce ndulge to my group of friends and the "tens of readers" :) I have in the blogosphere. Not only are they are wonderful company of athleisure wear and accessories started by SISTERS, but they give back 33% of their proceeds to women and children around the world, something that - those of you who know me well - know is very close to my heart.

I won't go any further into the many, many wonderful things they do, or the products they manufacture and sell right now; instead I'll let you cruise their site (OUR site:) at your leisure. For your convenience, I've added an "Ndulge" tab on our Wildernest B&B website - right where Bohotique used to reside. Same principles. Same beliefs. Different Concept.

SAME CHANGE.

“It’s a philosophy of life. A practice. If you do this, something will change, what will change is that you will change, your life will change, and if you can change you, you can perhaps change the world.” – Vivienne Westwood

If - no, when, you make a purchase, please use my unique discount code: StaciW10 for 10% off of your ENTIRE first purchase. 

In the coming days and weeks, I will be sharing some of the products, some of the ways we give back, and some of the personal stories that women who have been touched by ndulge want you to know. In the meantime, remember this:

"Making one personal smile can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world."  - unknown

The KREW :)

Y'all.

Today is January 1, 2019! There is something so exciting about the very first day of every brand new year! It's a time of new beginnings, yes, but it's even more than that for me. It means that I can look back on what went well the year before and continue to build on those things.

It also means I can accept what didn't work out so well and - either - change them, tweak them, or let them go altogether.

Either way, it's a time of re-evaluating where I am in this life - the good, the less-than-perfect, and the "needs improving." (I refuse to say there is anything "ugly" or "bad" about my life. I lead wayyyyy too blessed an existence to give in to that kind of thinking.)

So that is what I am doing today. At least until 1:30, when I will go next door to my mom's and eat black-eyed peas, cabbage, and cornbread with my family! Totally digressing here, but...will those three things bring us good luck and wealth in this coming year? Not a chance! But I am all. about. those. traditions!!! Keep 'em coming my way as long as possible!

It's quiet around here right now, and perfect for reflecting. A rapid fire of fun and uplifting group texts amongst our six grown kids made the rounds this morning and now the men folk are out shooting and doing boy stuff while Bronte and I are nesting and cleaning and reflecting and blogging - totally girlie stuff. (Sure, she's doing most of the nesting and resting, but she is very faithfully following me from room to room and - right now - she is snoring softly at my feet as I type.) There is something calm, peaceful, and "all is as it should be" in my world.

There are several new things that will be rolling out business-wise in the next few weeks and months, but today I am thinking back to my KREW - my group of ladies who worked tirelessly with me this last year in the Bohotique, on the blog, and in the business. Though vastly different in ages, we bonded so seamlessly and so ENTIRELY over a deeply common thread - that of sisterhood and of empowering one another and inspiring other women to do the same. In a world where it is all too easy for women to be one another's chief obstacle to success, our aim was to shine a light (and to shine HIS light) on what truly matters: the individual contributions we all bring to the table that, together, create something so beautiful and so whole that it leaves no question that it could not have happened on its own.

Although I have made the decision to let the Bohotique go in order to focus more fully on what we do best - the B&B and venue - and while I am returning to my personal blog over Sunshine and Sweet Tea - I am forever indebted to the women who worked alongside me in 2018. This post is dedicated to them.

It has been my experience that God blesses those who bless others.

Today, let me update you on the lives of my KREW...:) THEY have blessed my socks off in 2018!

In no particular order...

______________________________________

Jennifer Gross was one of my dearest friends, and a talented writer and business woman, who also just happened to be mom to my two eldest nieces, Madison and Makenzie:) When Jen agreed to join my team, she was running 3130 Home, an online and onsite home decor boutique, as well as penning her own blog. Nearing a cross-roads herself, Jen was trying to make some career decisions of her own, but yet she willingly took on my vision and volunteered her time and talents, giving us several blog articles (including the one that I still LOL over - aka "The Swimsuit Edition") and relentlessly praying over our mission.

Flash forward to Jen today...Even though it wasn't even in her sights a year ago, today Jen is an Ebby Halliday realtor, a talented home stager, and still partners with her husband, Todd, in their construction business.

That cross-roads Jen was at...? Yeah, God directed her footsteps in a LARGE way!

___________________________________

Peyton Hawkins was a former student of mine who, along with her sister, Ali, joined me on the team - first as my "models" for our Bohotique clothing - but then as my Social Media gurus, namely Insta! :) The first few weeks we worked together, I would sit in the Boho House (before it WAS the Boho House:) with these girls and we'd talk while we worked. I'd hear their hearts as they shared with me the desires of their hearts, as wells as....yes, the heartbreaks...the disappointments...the fears...As the year moved along, Peyton reconnected with a "friend," who helped to heal that broken heart of hers. As she continued to complete her senior year of high school, work tirelessly at her PAYING job,  spend her off-time working on our social media and house-sitting for Mike and I, she fell deeper and deeper in love with this...friend. Travis Swistok.

Flash forward to Peyton today...Peyton was one of The Hitchin' Post's July brides. She married her Marine and she and Travis are stationed in North Carolina. Peyton may not run my social media anymore, but nothing brings tears to my eyes any quicker than reading P's inspirational posts about all that God and Life have taught her in the months since her marriage. She is TRULY a model - not of clothing, but of true beauty and holiness and everything a young wife should be.

_________________________________

Ali Hawkins is the whole package. Right brain AND left brain. Engineer major AND hobbyist decorator extraordinaire. I remember having her as a sophomore in my English II Honors class and her face literally lighting up when I would announce a new project. "I LOVE PROJECTS!" Some things just don't change; Ali still loves a good project, especially if it involves a challenge of some kind that requires a bit of engineering to figure out. I never had to worry once I turned something over to Ali. I didn't question timelines or deadlines or doability. I just knew it would get done.

Flash forward to Ali today...Although I miss her more than words can convey and although I have yet to find a house sitter that Thoreau and Bronte love as much, Ali now has the pleasure of decorating her own apartment while she finishes up her junior year of college. In a little over a year, she'll be doing amazing things, things I can hardly wait to tell you about, things like creating prosthesis for animals...she's simply amazing...that's Ali. And that's only the beginning. I started off by saying that she's left AND right brained. There is no limit to what we will see out of Ali - God has amazing things in store for this one!

_________________________________

Alex Freeman was a first year teacher my first year at Pewitt. Partly because of our age difference and partly because of how much we instantly adored one another, I became somewhat of a mentor to her. She came to me for advice and I loved hanging around her because she is just so dang funny! No one has a bigger smile or a bigger laugh - no one! More often than not, we'd talk about relationship issues and about why God hadn't sent Mr. Right her way yet. YET. (Remember that word - YET...) At 26 years old (then) Alex was ready for Life to start already! By the end of the year, we had developed a bond that we both knew would be life long. Even though she moved on to another district after that year, and then on to another city after that, we stayed close.

When I reached out to her to join this project, she didn't hesitate. Another talented writer and a - BEYOND - gifted musician, Alex has a heart for God and a heart for people. She immediately began contributing to the blog via her own blog. One of the posts that I will never, ever forget is the one she penned (aka typed) on the Power of YET.  I've often thought back to her words in that post as I've contemplated the waiting process that generally accompanies anything worth gaining, owning, or having. More often than not, there is a lesson to be learned in the waiting and it's in the YET portion where we can best listen, best learn, best receive.

Flash forward to Alex today...Alex is a teacher, a musician, a writer, a marketer, a designer...and y'all...Alex is in love!!!! It's her story to tell, and I certainly don't know all the details; but I am one happy surrogate mother/mentor who is absorbing all the Insta posts, feeds, and stories about her Mr. Right:) It didn't happen eight years ago when we both wanted it to; but - like everything else in this life - when God does a thing, He does it well.

_______________________________________

Chelsy Edwards was first my student two years ago as a sophomore in Honors English II, and again this year as a senior in Principles of Hospitality. She, too, joined our team last year as a model for the Bohotique clothing, but then stayed on to help work the birthday party business at the venue. Chelsy embodies what I hope and wish for every young girl - strong family values, high standards for herself and others, generosity for those less fortunate than herself, and a smile that knows no boundaries. She truly is a ray of sunshine. She has not had the easiest year this year and, since she's a senior, that has made me sad. In true Chelsy fashion, though, she chooses to not dwell on the negative and focuses instead on what lies ahead. Chelsy is one of the ones from the class of 2019 that I will miss the very most.

Chelsy today...Already accepted at University of Texas at Tyler, Chelsy has already applied for and received her apartment housing, as well as several scholarships that will go toward her education. She plans to major in English (proud moment for this teacher right here!) and go into teaching and/or professorship. Chelsy is faithful, loyal, and loving and I cannot wait to see what all lies ahead in her future! I'm so thankful I am blessed enough to have a front row seat!

___________________________________________
Rachel Clayton, best friend to Chelsy and "mascot" to my old debate team, is another of my student recruits to our KREW. Rachel was also one of my sophomore English students. While we came to know each other well back then, it wasn't until she began to "attend" debate the following year, that I came to REALLY know THE Rachel Clayton, and to fall in love with the delightful and hilarious person that she is. Ridiculously talented and endlessly funny, Rachel was dubbed our mascot for debate, and it was during those afternoons that I learned more about what she hoped for, dreamed about, and was working toward in regards to her future. When I approached her about helping out with venue events, she so willingly gave of her last summer before college and worked for me whenever possible. She was another one that you could give a job to and then forget about it - you could rest assured it would get done - and the right way.

Rachel today...Nearing the end of her first year at Tarleton University, Rachel is majoring in business with a minor in fashion studies! Still loving on dogs, cows, and Airstreams!!!

______________________________________________

Here you have it...my KREW! You can see why they are each so very near and dear to my heart. They are friends. They are sisters. They are prayer partners. They are like-minded women.

They are loved and cherished by me, today and always.

Even though we are each going our own way and accomplishing the things we are meant to do in this life, there is a cheering section in each of our lives reserved for our group, I can assure you! With each goal reached...
               each graduation, each marriage, each child born, each promotion...

Or with each loss..
              each disappointment, each death, each heartache...

This is a sisterhood that was formed on something far bigger than any ONE of us, and it is one that will live long after some of us are gone.

Hopefully daughters will tell their daughters and so on and so on and so forth...

And that is how the world gets changed...one girl at a time.

Reflections. 2018. Grace.

In every single “year end review” that has been posted I have seen a common thread: this year was … Not a good one. The word that I actually want to use can be abbreviated to two letters : C. F.

The world hurt. Our country hurt. Alienation and angst prevailed. On a global scale. On a national scale. On a local scale.

And, sadly, on a family scale as well. Not our immediate family, as in our kids and grands, but in the family as a whole. Kind of a general hot mess.

SO, so many face-palm moments. Mike and I prevailing our own current event conversations usually went something like this:

“Hey, did you see….” or "Did you know..." or "Did I mention..."

And then 'yes' or 'no' depending on the appropriate answer.

Most often followed by, “Are you serious?” 

And then we would sigh. Together. And just look at each other, because,  really, what was there to say?

My confession is that I did not hate this year. 

Despite all the uncomfortable, we were blessed beyond measure and the hard stuff has brought about movement in a better direction. This has been a year of personal reflection and acknowledgement of things holding me back. 

It has been a year of intense hard work, followed by victory laps and our own version of the Hallelujah chorus. Small breakthroughs put me on a path of continuous change. And, 20 years in, I have a stronger hand than ever holding my own and joining me on this path. 

It has been a year of so many changes, changes that have both devastated me, shocked me, sent me to my knees, left me trembling, but never, ever alone. In the darkest of nights I have had the strength of a great love and The Great Love, both protecting my heart and never allowing it to become hardened.

I have seen so many prayers answered this year that my faith feels just a little stronger, and my heart is renewed with mercy and (I hope) kindness and generosity and hope for the year to come. 

And I saw superheroes this year. The "girls" and I gave away a dream wedding. We went to New York City. Fourteen brides married their guys in our venue this past calendar year. The B&B and venue together matched my teacher's income. We added two tiny container cabins to our rental inventory. Our 9 greatest delights continue to be our 3 amazing children, their wonderful spouses, and our 3 beautiful grands. We have the two BEST fur babies known to man.

And - if possible - I fell more madly, deeply in love with Michael Joe Wilder.

This was a profoundly difficult year. Painful in many ways that many will never, ever know about.

This was an amazing year. Beautiful in so many ways that it would be shameful for me not to proclaim it from the rooftops.

My word for this year was grace and - truly - it has been a year of grace.

A year of receiving grace and year to extend it. To others. And to myself. 

As I sit here on this NYE, reflecting on the 365 days gone by and looking forward to the ones ahead, I wonder what my next word will be...

I don't know yet...

For the next few hours I'll continue to hang onto to GRACE and continue to be thankful for what it means in my life and in the life of those I love so much.

...Happy New Year's!!!

When the teacher gets taught.

Last year I had a scary thing happen in my classroom.  It was not a fight. It was not a medical emergency. It was not a student that found my authority benign.

In the midst of another lesson and practice at analyzing a literary passage, I was passionately probing my students to go further. I had asked the most important question, “Why?!” for at least the tenth time.  I was pointing out symbolism and metaphor and asking “So, what? Why does it MATTTERRRR?”  with a maniacal grin on my face. 

If you are an English teacher, you KNOW the face and grin that I refer to. It's when we're in our element; in those discussions where the "light bulb" moments tend to happen, where "teachable" moments occur, those instances where students don't realize it at the time, but they'll return two, ten, maybe twenty years from now and tell you the EXACT second when. They. Finally. Understood.

I have found that my passion can be contagious. If only for a few. My students get a glimpse into a deeply rooted belief that it is all about something bigger. Story is what holds humanity together. The stories we read matter, and the stories we write with our lives matter even more.

But as I was oozing enthusiasm as only crazy English teachers can, I heard a whisper:

“It doesn’t.”

The voice seemed so loud I almost thought a student actually said it. But they didn’t. I scanned the room for hints of dissent, but in that moment every student was present; engaged and trying to break the code that only I seemed to understand.

I kept going, calling on every student brave enough to take a stab at the interpretation. But with every hand I called on the voice became louder.

“This does not matter.” 

“What are you doing?” 

“How is this helping them?”

“Seriously, what are you doing with your life?”

It came from within. This voice I could not name was accusing me of wasting my life. I pushed through the day, believing that it was just that, a bad day. However, as the days turned to weeks and the weeks to months this voice haunted me nearly everyday.  I was rounding into the second semester at a new school, with the most supportive administration I had ever had, and quite honestly some of the loveliest children I had ever met, and I hit a wall.

Let me pause and even backtrack a bit and say that I do not think this was a divine voice (aka the voice of God) speaking to me in the middle of our reading of The Glass Castle and questioning whether or not my vocation was making a difference in the life of my students. 

As a daughter of a public educator, I've lived my entire life believing in the fundamental power blocks that make up the system. I believe that every child deserves a healthy system that works amazingly well for them, that serves them fully and well, and this includes well educated, enthusiastic teachers that love their jobs and their subject matter and that strive to bring their 'A' game to the classroom every single day. 

I knew (still know) that my job was not only important, but crucial to my students. But there was something new brewing, and it was also crucial and something that I knew I would be wise to not ignore. 

Long story short, a miraculous thing began to take place in my 5th period class, a class of self-proclaimed "mis-fit" seniors. When I took myself out of the picture and let it become a student-led class (within reason) something beautiful began to happen, and for the first time in my teaching career I was able to partake in a God-thing so healing and so nurturing that I was as changed as those 12 students that sat in a circle that they themselves established in our room. On more than one occasion, the bell would ring and no one would budge. The air amongst us was truly that sacred. We were afraid to move, afraid to disturb or hurry what was happening amongst us. 

The day I said good-bye to those 12 was one of the hardest - and one of the most exhilarating - of my career to date. Hard because the human side of me was going to miss them something fierce. Exhilarating because I knew they were truly, TRULY amazing human beings that were going to thrive and flourish and one day make a difference on the world around them. 

At the end of each day. At the end of each year. At the end of each career...isn't that what teaching is all about?

End of year thoughts.

Jesus is the bread of life. His word feeds our souls.  Just like we can’t go more than a couple days without food, this is a perfect reminder that we cannot go more than a couple days without Jesus.  

Without depending on him fully, and letting His spirit dwell and direct our lives completely. 

How do we do this?  We KNOW Him more.  There is always more to know about Jesus. And “there is nothing compare to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ” (Philippians 3:8). The Word is our way of knowing Him more, and  - just like spending more time with those we love - we fall more deeply in love...this time with Him. 

In our lives we love the people that we “know” really well.  The same is true for our relationship with the Lord.  Although He loved us when we did not know him, as humans we cannot love Him unless we know him.  Therefore the the verse “taste and see that the Lord is good” should continually have fresh meaning for us.  

This year has been a transforming one. Maybe future blog posts will catalog some of it; maybe some of it will remain private. But as the calendar year comes to an end, I seem to have a deepening awareness of His presence in all things. The word “taste” no longer simply refers to tasting food that the Lord has created, but it refers to “tasting” the word which He spoke from the beginning of creation. I want to feed on His word more than I feed on food.

Jesus, may the bread of life (John 6:35) sustain both my body and my soul. Amen.