In every single “year end review” that has been posted I have seen a common thread: this year was … Not a good one. The word that I actually want to use can be abbreviated to two letters : C. F.
The world hurt. Our country hurt. Alienation and angst prevailed. On a global scale. On a national scale. On a local scale.
And, sadly, on a family scale as well. Not our immediate family, as in our kids and grands, but in the family as a whole. Kind of a general hot mess.
SO, so many face-palm moments. Mike and I prevailing our own current event conversations usually went something like this:
“Hey, did you see….” or "Did you know..." or "Did I mention..."
And then 'yes' or 'no' depending on the appropriate answer.
Most often followed by, “Are you serious?”
And then we would sigh. Together. And just look at each other, because, really, what was there to say?
My confession is that I did not hate this year.
Despite all the uncomfortable, we were blessed beyond measure and the hard stuff has brought about movement in a better direction. This has been a year of personal reflection and acknowledgement of things holding me back.
It has been a year of intense hard work, followed by victory laps and our own version of the Hallelujah chorus. Small breakthroughs put me on a path of continuous change. And, 20 years in, I have a stronger hand than ever holding my own and joining me on this path.
It has been a year of so many changes, changes that have both devastated me, shocked me, sent me to my knees, left me trembling, but never, ever alone. In the darkest of nights I have had the strength of a great love and The Great Love, both protecting my heart and never allowing it to become hardened.
I have seen so many prayers answered this year that my faith feels just a little stronger, and my heart is renewed with mercy and (I hope) kindness and generosity and hope for the year to come.
And I saw superheroes this year. The "girls" and I gave away a dream wedding. We went to New York City. Fourteen brides married their guys in our venue this past calendar year. The B&B and venue together matched my teacher's income. We added two tiny container cabins to our rental inventory. Our 9 greatest delights continue to be our 3 amazing children, their wonderful spouses, and our 3 beautiful grands. We have the two BEST fur babies known to man.
And - if possible - I fell more madly, deeply in love with Michael Joe Wilder.
This was a profoundly difficult year. Painful in many ways that many will never, ever know about.
This was an amazing year. Beautiful in so many ways that it would be shameful for me not to proclaim it from the rooftops.
My word for this year was grace and - truly - it has been a year of grace.
A year of receiving grace and year to extend it. To others. And to myself.
A year of receiving grace and year to extend it. To others. And to myself.
As I sit here on this NYE, reflecting on the 365 days gone by and looking forward to the ones ahead, I wonder what my next word will be...
I don't know yet...
For the next few hours I'll continue to hang onto to GRACE and continue to be thankful for what it means in my life and in the life of those I love so much.
...Happy New Year's!!!
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